When will my husband understand his mother is a cruel narcissist?
My husband's mother has always been cold and callous. There are dozens of instances where she has tried to push me away, control, stress me out to the point of tears. I recognize the traits as my maternal grandmother was the same way, and my mom and I have cut ties.
I'm posting this question because even today, after 4 years of knowing this woman, my husband is still going in emotional circles with his mom.
We are going out of town for the holidays, and we asked his mother if she could do us a favor and watch our dog for 2 days or we will put him in a kennel.
We got married in September and even then for our honeymoon, his mom and dad OFFERED to watch our dog. A month before our wedding, his mom had another emotional fit and backed out the last minute, leaving us to eat some unexpected heavy costs and scrambling to get him his shots to be put in a kennel.
Today, my husband decides asking his mom again, even though I would just prefer to stay away from her.
His mom freaked out again, accusing my husband of not devoting enough time to her and answering all of her every other day phone calls.
It is very hard for me to not be irritated now with my husband for constantly setting himself up for disappointment. And I have told him, I don't even give a damn if he wants to continue whatever sad piece of relationship he's hoping to get out of this with his mom, I just don't want to be a part of it.
When will my husband stop hoping for her to change and understand who she is?
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
Gov't is killing you with high frequency electricity.Theotokos Virgin Mary gave prayers to "Schema-nun Antonia" on how to save aborted babies from hell. If you pray these prayers diligently, aborted babies are released from hell. On each painted nail there are 40 demons. Smoking is censer to the devil.Using foul language calls upon Pagan deities (aka demons); Holy Spirit departs on 7 meters. People who use drugs see demons who cleverly disguise themselves as ghosts and aliens.America will be last country to switch to Euro (antichrist's world currency). Contraceptives = abortion;using contraceptives for 1 year = 5 aborted kids.Miscarriages happen because of high heels; cesarean because of tight pants (second generation cesarean will be infertile).Unbaptized aborted/miscarried/unborn babies burn in hell for until Final Judgement; if pregnant, keep the kid and deliver at home because kids are chipped using IVs and vaccines in hospitals. Dentists and doctors chip patients secretly. 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Gov't provides demons with diamonds and allows demons to abduct people. If you're being abducted, slowly pray the Jesus prayer. Don't panic. Demons use diamonds and souls to power their UFO craft. The bigger the diamond, the more it lasts. Demons have 4 UFO bases: 1)moon 2)inside fake mountain Kailash (Tibet) 3)in lake Baikal in Russia 4)in Atlantis which is underneath double ocean floor of Mariana Trench (Pacific Ocean). There are no aliens. Nobody lives on other planets. Airplanes that go down are hit by demons because they need the airspace to fight Jesus. Antichrist is pale with red eyes. He's possessed by Satan since he's 12 years old [Lavrentiy Chernigovskiy]. He flies super fast; deceived people will say: "Christ is here; Christ is there" when he's flying from one city to the next very fast. He wears gloves to hide long nails. He's surrounded by demons who appear as angels of light. 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Lipstick contains cells of aborted fetuses, dog fat, and placenta; human flesh is in McDonalds, Pepsi, toothpaste, antiaging, anticancer, vaccines, perfume, etc.; that's why you should not be using anything that modern society has to offer. You're better off hiding within a 10-12 people group in order to escape Apocalypse. During Apocalypse, Chrtistians will eat dirt from under pussywillowtree as it's filled with tears of Theotokos Virgin Mary; this water will flee if a 666ed person tries to get it. Barcode is Druid black magic curse; QRcode is Mayan curse; when food is scanned, it becomes dead because laser is a substance from demons. Don't go into a UFO to be healed by demons. Green 666 is given by isotope rays on wrist or forehead when people stretch hands to receive small plastic grey card with no name on it (World Passport). It doesn't just have to be during this procedure (could be anything you sign up for or anywhere where there is a secret scanner); biometrics (fingerprints, eyes scan) or getting picture for passport are very dangerous because they could mark you secretly. Gabriel Urgebadze said that they do it on index finger when they scan your finger. Basically, try to avoid new documents at all cost. Police will microchip and isotope ray people on highways. Chipped people will be influenced by computers to take grey plastic card; but when they do, green mark by isotope rays is given on forehead/wrist. Food stores will isotope ray people too. Antichrist will also release prisoners to mark people. Reject 666 at all cost because it leads to permanent hell. If you're about to be marked, pray the Jesus prayer. Hide with Orthodox Christians to escape 666; leave all electronics behind so that antichrist's minions can't track you; burn documents because they're from Satan. The Most Holy Trinity gives you a name during baptism; devil gives an antiname during antibaptism (ex. Social Security Number). People who die with these Satanic documents go to concentration camp in hell to await Final Judgement; once the BEAST Computer is burned down, souls will be released for Final Judgement. That's why you should give back documents of your deceased relatives back to the gov't so that the gov't cancels these digital antichristian names given during antibaptism by the beast system; or just burn these documents because gov't could get upset and could send demons to mark you because of this outright act of defiance. Prophecy from half a millennium ago describes Final Judgement like this: Jesus was very upset with people who had little boards (plastic cards) in their hands because they wanted discount from the antichrist. Give to charity in the name of Archangel Michael; he rescues people from temporary hell twice a year [at midnight September 18-19 and similarly on November 20-21; pray at these times on your knees remembering the deceased by names (adding "and relatives by flesh up to Adam") so that they are rescued if they're in hell] (or brings them up a level, that is, to a level with less punishment; eventually, people are freed). Feed the pigeons; when pigeons bow down, people are saved from temporary hell. It's a big sin to remember the dead with wreaths (because demons put these wreaths on their necks if they're in hell with their hands tied up behind their back while hanging by their hands), meat, alcohol, sweets, and worldly music. Demons print icons of saints in newspapers so that you throw these newspapers in the trash blaspheming these saints. Crosses on soles of shoes and back of pants are blasphemy. Demons make carpets with crosses and put them on sidewalks so that people walk on crosses. Playing cards mock how Jesus suffered on the cross: clubs (cross on which Jesus was crucified), diamonds (four nails Jesus was crucified with), hearts (sponge with vinegar that Jesus was given to drink),spades (spear with which Jesus was pierced).Cremation is devil worship; only blasphemers such as Lenin should be burned; if Lenin is buried, earth will be polluted, and China will attack Russia because of this.After China attacks Russia, Ruski Orthodox Tsar (shown by resurrected Seraphim of Sarov) will come to power in Russia;this Tsar will slay traitors inside church and gov't; as a result, Russia will be the only country not under the antichrist.Ecumenism = 263 heresies;each heresy leads to hell. In 2006 in Moscow (that's why Moscow will sink),representatives from most religions signed a document where it says that all religions worship the same Supreme Being [aka the devil]. Priests who participate in ecumenism will have Pagans walking on their heads in hell. Arkhimandrite Antonin Kapustin left a prophecy that Church of All Russian Saints in Gorny Monastery, Ein Karem, Israel will be blessed by forerunner of antichrist; Patriarch Kirill of Russia and Mark of Berlin blessed this church in 2007. When priests pray for current gov't (instead of praying for future Tsar),Jesus gets up from His throne and turns His back to them. Forgive me.Source(s): Women wear headscarves tied at the front to prevent headaches from sky pushing down and to prevent throat cancer. Mega-tsunami for New York will be 400 meters; then engulfed-in-lava Los Angeles will be flooded too; also, asteroid destroys Gulf of Mexico; only Alaska, Eurasia, and Africa remain (obviously without coasts). 1st big earthquake in Russia; 2nd bigger one in China (will be split in half; radiation!); 3rd biggest will be in the USA (Greek Orthodox monk Elidiy from Africa); forgive me.
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
So by my math you dated this guy for over three years before you married him. Surely in that time this dynamic with his mother would have been self evident. But you opted to marry into this family anyway. Aside from the reality that a dog's shots should be kept up to date for the dog's own health...now you know never to ask your MIL for help with anything. Also, she won't live forever.
- historyLv 71 month ago
I'm sorry that both of your complaints hang on the fact that she doesn't want to take care of your dog. Because it's a huge favor to ask of anyone. Come on, it is! Walking daily, feeding twice a day, being company (because dogs like company)..., it is not an incidental moment from a person's day. It is very time consuming and is a big responsibility and you want her to be happy to do this for free. That might be an unreasonable expectation. It's why people get hired to take care of people's dogs. It's actually not particularly reasonable to simply expect family or friends to happily take care of your dogs so you can go on vacation. Sorry. Likely she's absolutely dreadful in other ways too but this one? Doesn't hold water.
- mmmLv 72 months ago
you and your mom cut ties - that is NOT normal
when will he and should he cut ties with his mother? NEVER
just because that is your solution does not mean that is the right solution
be polite and don't take anything personal - be there for your husband and ignore what she is doing - this is not about YOU or HER - got it?
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- PatriciaLv 72 months ago
First of all, this stuff seems to be between your MIL and your husband. Just leave it that way. You're putting too much emotional stress on yourself by getting all worked up.
And you really need to stop dissing his mom and saying mean things to him about her. Fact is, he already knows she's a pain in theAss, she raised him, he knows her well and how she behaves. He can't change it, and you're causing him upset by doing this. It's useless "hoping for her to change" because after all these years, she hasn't.
Accept her at face value, and stop allowing her to bother you or come between you and your husband. All this isn't healthy.
All the time i had my dog, and if i wanted to go on vacation, i hired a reputable house/dog sitter to stay at my place. I saved for it before my vacation if i didn't have the extra money to toss around. And after my dog died, i started dog/house sitting. I love it, i charge $50-70 a day, depending on the circumstances. Lots of people would rather have their dog at home and someone in the house, instead of leaving an empty house and stressing the dog by taking it somewhere it's not familiar with. This is a great alternative, and i'm sure you can find someone.
Give yourself and your husband a break. Live your life, and again, accept your MIL for who she is. She's not going to change. Not ever.