Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

why doesn't my long distance gf wanna see me?

weve met before, it went super well and we were both sad to leave each other. and we've talked all day since then. every day for a year. yet she doesn't wanna come see me again. I even said i'd pay for it. I ask why not and she just says "I dunno". I tell her to be honest and break up if she doesnt see a future with me, but then she's like "no it's not that, I really like you and i wanna keep talking". whats going on?

Update:

like we facetime 6 hours a day for a year. it's been a year since we saw each other last.

Update 2:

@Bob we had sex when we met, everything seemed fine. she seems attracted and we are sexual with each other to this day through facetime and text... im in my late 20's and stay in great shape. she is the same age. we spent 10 days together 

@ana thank you for the perspective. Its not too harsh, I understand I might need to break things off if shes not serious. We buy each other gifts often so i always thought she thinks of me as real

I guess she just wants an online chat buddy tho. very sad.

4 Answers

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  • Bob
    Lv 4
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You facetime 6 hours a day? For a year? But she doesn't want to come visit and can't explain why beyond "I dunno"...??

    As Ana says below, she's just using you as a chat buddy and does not see you as a romantic partner.

    Or perhaps she's 15 and thinks meeting means you'll want to have sex with her and she's not ready for that so prefers to avoid it?

    How old are you both?

    How long did you meet for when you met before?

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  • 2 months ago

    Give Ana the ten points right now, because she nailed it.  You're being used for the attention.

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  • Ana
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    She’s using you for attention but doesn’t find you sexually attractive.

    Why don’t you offer to go see HER? You take a plane to her. And if she refuses then you should dump her on the spot and say “sorry but it’s not working out”

    Keep in mind, she might say “yes” but then when you pay for the ticket and arrive, she might ghost you. So you should make sure you get her to agree in writing that if she ghosts you after you pay for the plane ticket to go see her, that she is agreeing contractually that she would be financially responsible to pay you back for the full cost of the plane ticket, including any court or attorney costs to collect that debt.

    This sounds harsh but you gotta say it and get her to agree. If she won’t agree then it means she never intended on meeting you once you take the plane there- so it’s good to find this out now before you waste $300+ on a ticket

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  • Mikey
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Reason 4309572340975 why LDRs are a terrible idea.

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