My Father Died 4 Years Ago & I Woke Up Looking For Him The Other Day?

Just when I thought it was getting a little easier to accept, and that I was moving forward in my grieving process. This happens. I literally woke up and in my head I was like "where the hell is my Dad at". Then it all hit me again. Like I had flashbacks of him laying on the floor deceased. The hospital. The funeral. The casket closing the last time. The burial. The tombstone. The late night talks I go sit and have with him. And like, I'm deeply hurt that my brain played such a horrible trick on me. Tears are falling as I write this. I don't appreciate my mind doing that to me. I miss my Dad man..... 

3 Answers

  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    However, this is a natural part of grieving, especially so close to the holidays when we look forward to spending it with our loved ones.

    Obviously, your brain needed to think of your Dad just one more time.  And you have no control over that and it is not a "trick" but a necessity.  And so my advice to you is to get out some snap shots and photos of your dad and spend a quiet evening enjoying them.

    If it helps, for years after my Dad was gone, I would see something on TV that he would enjoy watching and I would go for the phone to call him to watch.  I had to stop myself and put the phone down.

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    • WOW. I think I JUST realized how deep that was. It just hit me hard. Having to put the phone back down..... That's hard. I still use my dad's telephone number at Mapco, Walgreens, and other stores for the points/discounts, and I look at it like he's still supporting me even in his death.

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  • 2 months ago

    I'm very sorry for your loss.

    I lost my dad 2 years ago and I've experienced this and I can say it's very hurtful. Unfortunately grief is not always that easy on us especially when it's about someone as important as a parent.

    However, the pain won't last forever. I think it's totally normal to sometimes feel like this. Let it pass, embrace it and it will be over soon.

    Something that helps me a lot is to talk about my dad w other people that met him, like my siblings, my cousins, my mom. If you can do this, do it. If you can't maybe write a letter to him and read it out loud? I'm of the idea that even if our loved ones are dead they are never truly gone.


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    • - Mé -
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      they will appreciate the opportunity to talk about your dad again. Hugs and blessings for you too

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i think its normal to feel that way, lost both parents myself

    • I don't know the circumstances and it's none of my business, but I will say YOU HAVE MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES. I'm not ready for the day that I too have to say what you just did. Thank you for responding to me. Blessed ❤

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