Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Can an emotionally intelligent person thrive in a relationship with someone who is an emotional black hole?

Significant other cant see past his nose or put himself in anyone elses shoes. I on the otherhand tend to consider everyone involved in a situation before acting. Is it possible to be happy in a long term relationship if two people are that different.

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  • 2 months ago

    Hard to believe it'll work.

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  • 2 months ago

    No, the relationship won't work.

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  • steve
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    I don't think someone who can show emotions is necessarily intelligent.

    The two are completely separate.

    I have had many relationships where I was close to and or in love with them but not as intelligent as them.

    If they started talking about something with others that I didn't understand I would just keep my mouth shut and not try and join in the conversation until the subject changed. 

    It has also been the opposite with girls I have dated who if I was having a conversation with others but she had no clue she would stay quiet.

    Lack of equal knowledge as the person you are dating does not you can't have emotions.

    Everyone is different and sometimes emotions have to be dragged out a person. That does not mean they lack intelligence.

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  • .
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It's not impossible but it's also not likely they will be a good long term match. Someone who does consider others (as their norm) will easily start to resent their partner, who thinks of of themselves. Odd that you didn't realize that issue before marrying and seriously consider it's impact on your long term relationship.

    I married a man many years ago who simply didn't think about anyone (even himself). Very little emotional expression over anything, including our relationship. THAT was an emotional black hole (decent guy, just not an emotionally expressive person at ALL). I thought it would be okay and we could be happy regardless, but I was wrong. He was content, but I was not. I learned a lot about myself in that relationship (and that I didn't want to be with someone who viewed me as a roommate and way to split the bills, instead of someone they loved and truly cared about). We parted ways.

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It may not be. While I believe opposites attract, that only works if they complement each other, not if they conflict or diverge to an extent they never meet or agree on anything.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Not when they have your attitude about it. In same cases people adopt each other's best attributes. But if you're not married to this person and you don't have kids with him you should probably end this before it goes any further.

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  • 2 months ago

    Questions like these always make me wonder, where was this evaluation before you got married?When did you become so emotionally intelligent and he became emotionally a black hole? 

    Just curious. 

    If the situation is as you suggest there is no hope. 

    But if the situation is more a response to your thinking you are somehow a lot more emotionally intelligent you are likely seeing a defensive posture.

    Either way it can't continue without repair.

    Therapy is indicated.

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  • 2 months ago

    Only if the "emotionally intelegent" one can be accepting of what she sees as his faults. If she wants or needs him to change to suit her better or can't deal with who he is now long term, she is better off without him - for both their sakes.

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