How to encourage (without being overbearing or stress inducing) younger sister-in-law to go to college? ?

Hello! Firstly, thank you for taking the time to answer my question :) I have a sister-in-law who is 16 years old right now and is a junior in high school. My husband and I were first gen college graduates a couple years ago and we both have our Master’s now, but I was wondering how I could encourage my sister in law to start taking the SAT’s & start writing college apps w/o being too pushy or cause her to stress out? I mean I know it was a crazy time bc I went through it at 17, but I just want her to do well. I want her to get that college experience, to get away from home, and not just do nothing after high school. Any thoughts on how I can convince her to go on college tours or encourage her to take community college classes so she can get credit before going to a four year university? Any tips are very much appreciated! Thank you!  

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  • Laurie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    This is the job of HER PARENTS.

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  • 2 months ago

    Don't push. That's counterproductive with teens. DO talk up how much you liked college & grad school, how much it has meant to you. DO ask if she would like you to read her applications essays, or go over her sample SAT tests.

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  • 2 months ago

    You're actually asking about several different things, so here are some thoughts:

    1.  Talk to her about HER DREAMS. What does she like to do now?  What does she think she wants to do once she graduates high school?  Does she have a dream of doing something in the future that will require a college degree?  

    2. Find out what the financial situation is.  Presumably, if your husband went to college, his and and sister's parents either completed the FAFSA and go him financial aid or were able to pay the fees.  Unless you are willing to fund her college education, you have to be aware and respectful of the family's financial situation.

    3. Is this young lady academically capable to succeeding at college?  What do you actually know about her academic ability?  It's important to encourage people to reach and work hard, but it is also important to know the real limitations.

    4. Encourage by telling a couple of truths:

    A. Just because you take the SAT or apply to college doesn't mean you HAVE to go; but you can't go if you don't take the right steps at the right time.  There's no harm is signing up for the SAT and taking it.

    B.  Getting a college degree is pretty much the baseline requirement for any professional position in any field.  With few exceptions, if she wants to do anything from being an astronaut to owning her own candle shop, she will need some kind of college education.  Most 15-year-old don't know what they want to do in life, and that fine. She just needs to see that if she doesn't want to be a long-haul truck driver or a plumber, she's likely going to want a college degree.

    C. There is enormous opportunity for new experiences and personal growth by getting away from home, learning to live on your own, taking responsibility for yourself, learning new, difficult things, etc.  

    D.  Everyone is scared about going to college.  Everyone is worried they won't do well on the SAT or won't get into some university. Being scared or worried is not a reason not to try or to go for something.

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  • MS
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Does she WANT to do these things? Because if not, then you aren't doing her any favors by pushing it on her.

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  • 2 months ago

    Start by asking her what she might be interested in.  Be sure she has the academic skills to handle college.  Find out what she does now to see if it can point her to a career.  But don't push her.  College is not for everyone.

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  • 2 months ago

    Start by asking if the school has talked to her about what comes after HS graduation. If you can afford it, you might discuss helping with fees.

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