anonymom asked in PetsDogs · 2 months ago

How do I handle bully ex boyfriend and his kind 15 year old daughter who keep contacting me 1 year post break up? They want to see my dog.?

44 yr old ex bf is a bully & hard to communicate with. Broke up a year ago. He has 3 kids; I have 2. At first, I tried to keep in touch w/his oldest, 15 yr old girl; she rarely responded. I have made no effort to keep in contact w/him, but he has found reasons to contact me (want his stuff, want to borrow the dog, berating me about some gossip he's heard), and it's never good for me, so I have blocked him. Daughter has contacted me a couple of times to borrow our "shared" dog.  We got the dog together; he got the dog as a puppy free from a friend. At first, she was to go between homes, that stopped bc he "couldn't" have her at his home. I have been the only one to pay for spay, shots, vet, leashes, bed, training. He has purchased some food, last time was a year ago after the break up & the time before that was another year prior. Bottom line is that I take care of the dog. At first, I let them take her each time they asked (maybe once a month). But I realized it bothered me to hear from him & see him. And he was not able to give specific times for pick up & drop off, so I would sit around waiting. No benefit for me at all, just disruption. I started saying we were busy. A week ago I got a text from the daughter (after about 2 mo no contact) asking for the dog for the weekend bc it was her birthday & she had no plans. I ignored & she is trying to connect with me via instagram. I need a better way to handle this. Can't do direct communication bc he will turn it into a fight.

8 Answers

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    This is an ex - you don't owe them anything regarding the dog.   If they want a dog, tell them to go adopt them but STOP letting them take your dog when they feel like it.  Its too confusing for the dog AND you risk them keeping the dog and you never seeing it again!  I would tell them NO and keep saying NO when they ask.

    Block all FB (unfriend them), don't answer IM or any other social media.  I'd block all of them in the family on FB so none of them can contact you.

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  • 2 months ago

    Why did you have reason to post this twice.

    It is just a simple matter of putting your foot 'DOWN' & saying 'no more'. It is hard on you & hard on the dog. Those people are weird. Get away from them.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Cut the dog in half and you can both have a half each

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  • *****
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Respond to his daughter, "I'm sorry, that won't be possible". If she resorts to arguing or throws a fit, block her on your phone and social media as well.  Also be aware that it could be dad using her account to gain access to you, since you blocked him. Would it be nice if you could continue a relationship with his kids? Sure. But it sounds like he's just going to continue to use that relationship to insert himself into your life. It's time to cut ties altogether. Your relationship has been over for some time. Take steps to fully end your interactions. 

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  • Teal
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You need to make a clean break and cut ties with his entire family. The dog belongs to you and the daughter has had plenty of time to accept this. Whatever disappointment she feels is your ex's problem, he is the one who gave the dog away. It also is not appropriate to have contact with his child now that you have blocked him. It puts her in an unfair position and undermines his authority as her parent. You don't owe these people anything. End this and move on for good.

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  • 2 months ago

    block thoroughly and ignore all contact attempts from either... He has no rights toward YOUR  DOG as also his daughter has´nt either

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  • Maxi
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Block  all communication, phone number /FB make sure he has all and any of his 'stuff' back so he has no excuse to contact you ......the dog is your property ...... at 15yrs old she has to learn that her relationship with the dog and you finished when her dad and your relationship ended

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  • 2 months ago

    Ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't listen, don't answer, don't callback.

    Peace.

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