Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

How do I get over an ex? ?

My ex and I was together for a year and a half.He cheated on me while we were together.And overall he treated me badly. Whenever we went out I was the one paying for it.I broke up with him in late October it is now December and it’s so hard for me to move on,he was literally my best friend but he didn’t really treat me well relationship wise.After this relationship my self esteem really decreased so much and idk what to do.I try not to look at his social media’s because I know if I see something it’s gonna hurt me.I did good for about a week but then just now I decided to look and we’ll let’s just say here i am, crying as I type this. His social makes it seem as if hes over me, making me feel like maybe I just wasn’t good enough, maybe that’s why he did what he did,maybe that’s why he cheated. Maybe he wanted someone prettier or skinnier.Im literally balling as I type this I just don’t know what to do. He seems to be living his best life while I’m here crying. Even though He’s the one who cheated I feel as though it’s my fault.I can’t stop thinking about whether or not he had found somebody else.I deleted my social media so that I wont have to see his stuff and feel some type of way but every now and then the anxiousness kills me and I have to check! I just don’t know what to do anymore. I just feel so useless,like why wasn’t I good enough Why couldn’t he just act right for me? I hate me.And that’s just how I feel.He’s gonna find someone before I do. And that’s gonna kill me.

4 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    Well, first of all, i never had a "best friend" who was abusive toward me. Those are never "BEST FRIENDS". The guy is a totalAsshole.

    And yes, you can't help who you love and care about, but he doesn't feel the same, probably never did. We don't abuse the ones we love.

    He couldn't act "right" for you because he doesn't know how. And he won't treat some other girl any better. It could take years for him to mature to the point that he realizes what an idiot he is. Or it may never happen (i vote it won't happen).

    You're better off without him. It's not going to kill you. You'll meet someone else someday. And the longer you're away from this guy, the more you'll realize that you're worth more than what he had to offer (which wasn't anything!)

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Forget about him. It is foolish for you to accept responsibility for him cheating. He was the cheat, not you, and he is responsible for that misbehavior, not you. Instead of you not being good enough for him, did you ever stop to think he proved himself unworthy of you? There are too many fish in the sea for you to be hung up on this one shark. Move on and, for sure, you will be much better off.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Focus on yourself and don’t worry about you getting into another relationship or him! Better yourself 

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    "After this relationship my self esteem really decreased"

    I'm saying this to be helpful, because you have this backwards.   Once you see that, things will start looking up, even if it's a slow process.   What you need to realize is your low self esteem was the reason you got involved with such a loser.   If anything, you should be patting yourself on the back for getting out of this.

    But the self esteem needs fixing.  You were with a guy who was a cheater, a liar (all cheaters lie), a slacker (why would you pay for him?) and a total jerk.  A healthy young woman would have run from him after a couple dates.  You owe it to yourself to figure out why you didn't. 

    When you say you're afraid he'll find someone before you do, we all go through this, but given what you've said here, this is scary.   It increases the already high odds you'll rush off and get involved with another loser.  Guys like him have built in radar for young women like you.  

    The best  gift you can give yourself is get some talk therapy.  Low self esteem usually comes from things in your childhood, and it's common for people to end up feeling like they're worthless unless they have a guy.   In their (or your) mind, even a loser guy is better than nothing.  This is so, so wrong!   Therapy will help  you get past these issues, so you'll never again say you hate yourself.  Don't hate yourself; fix yourself.  After that, you'll start attracting the guys you really deserve.

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