Should I take care of my boyfriend's daughter?
My boyfriend and I currently live together. He has a 10 year old daughter and I have a 14 year old son. My sons father lives out of state, he will be with his father for two weeks for Winter break. Would it be wrong for me to ask my boyfriend if his daughter stays with her mother instead of our house and be taken to school while my son is gone? I currently take both children to school in the morning, but I would like a break from that responsibility while my son is gone. I have a feeling my boyfriend won't be very happy, but he doesn't help me with transporting my child bc of his work schedule. His daughter use to be taken to school every day by her grandmother, but since my boyfriend changed his job he excepts me to take that on now.
- OcimomLv 72 months ago
Unless you treat each other's kids as if they were your own, you will have more and more problems. If you plan on marrying him some time in the future, the children have to be included and agreed on how you both will raise them.
- LindaLv 62 months ago
I think it is improper because what if her father can't take her during that time or he doesn't want to?
He can ask as long as his daughter doesn't know you resent it but if the answer is no, then do it if you can and try not to complain about it.
- 2 months ago
That's a good question. I personally understand where you're coming from, but I think if you ask him that he will not be pleased. It's kind of like you saying your child isn't all that important to me and not a priority. While I completely don't think that's the case here, it will appear that way to him I believe. Children are a full time commitment. When you got with someone with a child, you kind of took that on.
- PatriciaLv 72 months ago
If your boyfriend's daughter is supposed to have visitation with her father over the holidays, then why shouldn't they spend it together?
If you don't feel like "taking care of her" while he's at work then have him hire a sitter, i guess.
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- keerokLv 72 months ago
"Taking a break" from children just sounds so wrong in my book. I have 2 twenteen boys and they still live with my wife and me so we basically haven't had a break for the past 24 years. Not complaining.
- SeldomSeenLv 42 months ago
There is nothing wrong with wanting a break from children and certainly nothing wrong with asking. It sounds like you need to have a serious conversation about his expectations.
- Anonymous2 months ago
**UPDATE**I think before this relationship even escalates into the next step, I would work on voicing your feelings, because he needs to know. Bottling them all up is giving him the pass to be comfortable in the relationship with you always sacrificing your comfort zones, and that's not fair, especially if he's not equally sharing that same attempt for you. Plus, when you practice telling him how you feel, this will be a very critical test for him to prove if he's a suitable mate for you to continue to spend your life with. If he's passive, reduces your worries and feelings, makes excuses, and blah blah blah, then he's not going to change, and that's where you have to decide if you want to stay with him or not (which hopefully, you won't). If he's wiling to make adjustments and shows compassion, then you have a great guy. But don't sweep things under a rug. Soon, it will bulge up to where there's no other room to sweep things under. Have some respect for yourself and stand up. Most men would like for some easily submissive quiet woman to take care of everything without a man lifting a hand of help and responsibility.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Dump the kid. You're not a wife anyway, just a girlfriend. Why are you two animals even living together?
- Coffee DrinkerLv 72 months ago
It would not be wrong, but you should be careful about how you ask.
Its common for blended couples with children from previous relationships to coordinate schedules so that they have all the kids for a while, then none of the kids for a while.
But just be careful how you bring it up. Don't make it sound like your sick and tired of his daughter. Bring it up an an opportunity for her to spend some time with her Mom (or whatever family member or friend you're proposing she stay with), and that would give you and your BF a couple weeks alone.