Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Why do people entrench themselves in their careers and not make time for family and friends or dating?

I find that once most people reach a certain age and they don't have any friends or a significant other, then it's much harder to actually make friends or find a suitable partner to get married to. They have so many responsibilities with work, commuting, home maintenance, and the little time left for hobbies, that they don't make time for socializing and they end up single and friendless for most of the rest of their life. This applies to both men and women, but women more so because they have a certain biological cutoff for having children and most other women are busy with family and raising kids so there's less time to make friends in their 30's-40's

Update:

Which is why I find it confusing why young people in college don't spend more time looking for a significant other/dating and making lifelong friends. Because once they graduate, they will never again have the amount of free time and be surrounded by young people with bright futures. Once they enter the real world, life becomes more time consuming and draining and there's less people to interact with and potentially date

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  • 2 months ago
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    Some people want to be financially stable before they think about that sort of stuff - if you finish college and apply for a job hundreds of miles away, you don't want to be tied down to some guy from University. 

    I think women aren't getting typecast as the stay at home mum anymore - meaning women can go out and make the money while the guy will stay home with the kids. 

    Bare in mind your job is literally the vast majority of your life - you'll spend more time at work than with your friends/partner, you want it to be as good as possible. 

    Also, when you're young you think you have your whole life ahead of you to find that sort of stuff. It's only when you're nearing your late 20's say and thinking about settling down that you realise it's a lot harder to meet people.

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  • 2 months ago

     We've had extremely different experiences it would seem and have come to very different conclusions. I had an active life in my 30's & 40's and then moved to a different state in my 50's and found communities and towns with open arms and endless opportunities to socialize, volunteer, contribute, invent and involve myself with people from all walks of life and incomes and educational experiences who were very actively experiencing and diving in to the same things. I know three people from my 20's that I have stayed intentionally close to but most of the people I know and socialize with I didn't meet until I was at least 35 and began to understand the significance of community. Not circle or cliche or group or gang, not need based support groups but fellowship that is open-armed and with room in their hearts, and in my heart, for more! My life has expanded through the years, not diminished in any fashion. I now know many men and women in their 60's-80's and they are social and involved and have real friends. Friends they met long after college. But, maybe, a couple of those too. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Very true and I actually just had the same conversation at the Thanksgiving table with the ladies. Sometimes maturity can get on the way.

     I believe family business is the best option for those who want to stay closer. 

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  • 2 months ago

    I have always had friends, and i am in my early 60s. I always worked, and still do. I guess that people who don't have friends, don't want them.

    My career days were in my 30's and 40's... i raised a family, had friends and was social.

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  • 2 months ago

    People are different. Why concern yourself with what makes others happy?

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