Anonymous
Anonymous asked in TravelAsia PacificJapan · 2 months ago

An American married to a Japanese and living in Japan, does the American have to listen to the Japanese?

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  • Bob
    Lv 4
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Do you mean that because you are living in Japan, you must abide by everything your Japanese spouse says simply because it's Japan?

    The answer is of course NO. You might choose to listen to your spouse about certain topics they're likely to know more about or understand better but your own opinion generally should be given equal weight.

    Many Japanese women are fond of saying to their Western husbands "だって、日本だから" or a variation of that. This observation may well be true but it's also true for you to reply, "うん、そうなんだけど、俺は日本人じゃない"

    You have made an international marriage and if your spouse always insists that you listen to her opinion because you live in Japan, you can gently remind her that she chose to marry someone who is not Japanese and that you BOTH need to make compromises if the marriage is going to last.

    An example of this is that my Japanese wife insisted that our daughter jump daily because she is short. My wife's logic was that basketball players are all tall and they jump a lot so jumping must make you tall. In this case, despite living in Japan at the time, I did not acquiesce to her Japanese logic and in the end, my wife grew to accept that genetics - and not jumping - affects how tall a person is.

    Bottom line, the Japanese aren't always correct and your spouse should not assume that they are.

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  • 2 months ago

    My grandfather was married to a Japanese woman (my grandmother) but I wasn't born when my grandfather was alive so I couldn't tell you.

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  • 2 months ago

    It depends on the individual.

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  • 2 months ago

    It depends on a lot :genders,properties,outlookings,sex abilities......In a word the issues between a couple can only be solved by themself .

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  • 2 months ago

    It depends on how long you plan to stay married.

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  • 2 months ago

    Everyone should listen to his/her spouse. Without communication, a marriage can't survive. 

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  • 2 months ago

    i would think they would have to listen to their spouse

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