Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 week ago

Wife and I are at each other’s throats?

We are 25(me) & 23( her). Married in July after dating about a year and a half. The dating was sure bliss, never lived together.

When she wants to be, she’s the most bubbly, fun person ever, but when she’s mad( lately we’re mad at each other a ton) she’s just downright nasty.

Let’s just say, I forget to put a towel in the hamper, it’s 45 minutes of arguing about whether or not I’m selfish. Sometimes she’ll just sit next to me all ticked off, full on pout mode, I’ll ask, “ what’s wrong?” She’ll roll her eyes and say “ fine, it’s obvious you don’t care” and storm off. I’d hate to think we need counseling just 4-5 months in, but, is that the right route?

Update:

She dated a few guys before me, I dated girls before her, we both felt ready 

33 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 days ago

    Hate to think it all you want but counseling is exactly what you need. Living together is really just a very intense roommate situation and it seems it's the little details of cohabitation you need to iron out. Not a relationship problem so much as a communication about who does the laundry thing.

  • Anonymous
    6 days ago

    time to divorce now and get it over now and move on

    --------------------------

    what is wrong with counseling? 

    ask 

    what is the goal ... (get along better is not a answer)

    is the answer to change you? 

    do you feel you need changing? if you change can you deal with her moods?

    is the goal to change her? 

    do you really think she will change>? 

    counseling will tell you the goal is not to change anyone -- they will tell you they cannot change people.. they will tell you communication is the goal and compromise

    Communication is crap talk

    30 years my wife and I have been married

    she is not sexually progressive  (not much interest in it) 

    me I am very sexually driven

    for years she reject me and I feel bad

    after years of me making excuse in my mind for her..... I realized it is just that excuses... this made me feel down

    she badgered me the "communicate" So I told her very simple and nice I was not happy because lack of sex,,, did she change? no !! did I change? no!

     

    what happens she got mad and upset and cried and I felt worse..

    as well I realized we were just living as room mates 

    nothing solved

    but communication killed the last hope I had that keeps me alive.

    (hope is not a answer it is useless desperation) 

    as long as I never really knew i could survive 

    now death sounds like the only choice 

    no leave her now 

  • Hockey
    Lv 6
    1 week ago

    What you need to do is ask yourself if you want to be with such an immature person. You can get out now at a relatively low cost, with no kids involved. Wait a few years, you'll probably have kids, her behavior will have gotten worse, and getting out then is a lot more complicated.

  • 1 week ago

    Free advice, do not even think of having a baby with her because if you do you will be paying big bucks to her the rest of your life.  Most states give everything to the woman & if a guy walks out of court with his underwear he should be happy.

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  • e9601:
    Lv 6
    1 week ago

    She sounds very immature. Try counseling, I hope it helps.

  • 1 week ago

    Counseling isn't bad i don't know why people think that's the beginning of the end. It's better to try and understand each other than to guess, assume, or bicker at each other. You can't read each other's minds and she sounds like she's got anger issues or lots of built up emotions because no normal human being is genuinely upset about a towel or whatever. When she says you don't care she means that she probably thinks you don't care because you don't get as upset as her when you two fight. There's definitely something else bothering her so i think you guys are better off going to counseling. It helps to have someone professional who is unbiased.

  • 1 week ago

    Oh Dear! It does take two to argue! Learn to be more accepting and apologetic. Reading books like Dr Phil McGraw's excellent Relationship Rescue helps to give us deeper insights into how relationships work. (I wish I got commission, as I recommend it to so many people!). As he writes in the book, it isn't only or people whose relationships are in trouble. There are other excellent books, of course.  

  • 1 week ago

    Sorry to hear all that.  It seems that she is a bully in a sense. I would leave that situation.

  • 1 week ago

    You need to find a counselor who can teach you (especially her) the correct way to argue. She is acting like she is sorry that she got married so you need to find out if that is the case.

  • 1 week ago

    Why are you kids married so early ? How many boyfriends she has ? May be one of her boyfriends want her to break up with you. Its too faar man you guys are so small. This is the age to have fun. You kids need to play man. 

    So sad. 

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