Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureCultures & GroupsSenior Citizens · 2 months ago

Elderly father constantly complaining, help?

I am a caretaker for my elderly father who constantly complains about everything, and over exaggerates any little thing that goes wrong into catastrophy thinking, or as I call it, "dooms-daying". Instead of helping me solve anything with solution oriented critical thinking, he would rather just complain and blame. This worries me because I know it can be a symptom of alzheimers. Its driving me crazy because he's been like this for years but its getting worse and worse. Its like living with Scrooge. When I try to talk to him about it, he just uses it as an excuse to fight and complain more.

Is this a normal part of aging? How do I deal with this better? Any tips?

17 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    You are an adult.  So tell him you will continue his care, but you will come with ear plugs or head phones so you don't have to listen to his tirades and his word that show his lack of appreciation.  You are doing a duty, and I get that, thanks from other elders.  But you don't need to listen to guff.

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  • Jeremy
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    If he is very inactive this might be the problem. Being bored, seeing the same faces regularly etc. can be both helpful but also boring.  If he just sits in the same chair all day - as our mother did - then every day must seem like for ever and seem like it's never going to end.  Eyesight often fades with age so reading can become impossible and so can any arts/crafts pastimes that the person had.  Watching T.V. for hours on end isn't good on a regular basis either but might be all the older person can now do.  If the person is housebound, either because of physical problems or because of many steps having to be negotiated, it makes it difficult for the older person to get out and for friends of the same age and ability to visit also.  Distractions from the boredom are needed but these will vary from person to person and there is not always the help from others available.

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  • Ann
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Your father sounds as if he's bored, lonely  and possibly depressed.  Why don't you take him to your local sr. center, introduce him around and find some things he might be interested in.  If he's a veteran, do the same thing with the local VFW.  There are people his own age he could talk to, who would understand how he feels.  If he has some skills, get him some things to work with that he would find interesting.  Take him to church  during the Christmas season, and let him listen to the music.  Drive him around in the evenings and let him see the decorations people put up. Get him out of the house and let him be around other people.  It will help both of you. 

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  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It might be time to have his memory checked. You need to be prepared for him to get worse. And you might need more outside help. Eventually it might be too much for you and you will need to find him a professional place to live.

    I just went thru about 8 years with my mother (with dementia) as FT caretaker. I was never raised to be a caretaker so it was hard for me. And my siblings did not lift a finger.

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  • mom
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    just remember, one day he will be gone. also you will be his age also real soon. 

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  • A C
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    My father was a complainer also.  I recommend prayer. That helped me.   Refer to Philippians 4:6-8. 

    And yes, it's pretty normal for old people to complain. 

    Source(s): The New Testament (recommended reading)
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  • 2 months ago

    try and be patient and remember he is your father, most people go like this when they are in their old age. best of luck.

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  • 2 months ago

    Sounds like he is long overdo for a complete medical workup. He could be experiencing something that causes him to be out of sorts all the time. Prostate pain in older men is common. Could be lots of things he is unwilling to admit.

  • 2 months ago

    I am not sure but I thought I read somewhere that not being able to smell peanut butter is a sign of potential Alzheimer's. It is somewhat a part of aging but it varies from person to person. It usually depends on how the person was in their younger days. If you father was a complainer in his younger days, it will only intensify with age because old people have a slew of ailments that make them crankier than usual. Here is one website I found. I did not read through it entirely but it may be of some help.

    https://www.agingcare.com/articles/deal-with-too-m...

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Slip a little vodka into his cranberry juice. 

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