My dad almost disowned me. Was I wrong or was he?
Hi everyone so my name is Paul Ritzler and I’m a 20 year old college student who still lives with my mom and works a minimum wage job. My dad is still helping me and my mom financially to get me through college though he isn’t paying for my college education. He kept trying to contact me through texts and his wife did too but I didn’t want to talk to them so I ignored their attempts at contact. My dad confronted me asking if I had problems with his wife because I ignored her texts and I said that I don’t like confrontation and don’t want to talk to him and he called me a spoiled brat and that he hopes I grow up and be a man. He then cut us off financially and told my mom he was completely done with me. My mom then let him have it and ratted him out and his wife convinced him to keep helping us. Our relationship has been strained since and I have no way to get a hold of him by phone because he cut off my old phone that he was paying for.
- James BlackleyLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
Why do I feel there is more to this than you are willing to cop to?
Just so I have this straight here... Your Dad financially is helping you out, he and his wife both try to call you but you refuse out of fear of conflict, and then your Dad lashes out by cutting you off. Something isn't adding up here, you seem to be leaving out a big piece of this puzzle! Is there some sort of conflict between the three of you, if so what is the issue that is driving you to run the other way?
The both of you seem to be childish here and go to extremes, your Dad goes into fight mode real quick, you go into flight mode real quick, and it becomes a push/pull thing between the two of you because of your opposing immature personalities.
You're Dad, childish as he is behaving, does NOT have to support you one iota! You are a grown *** man fully capable of surviving in life, you don't need handouts from your father. He seems to care a lot about you and wants you to succeed, which is why he is choosing to give you his hard-earned money to help keep you afloat. In that sense he's correct, you need to start "being a man" here, pay your own bills and such, stop depending on him.
I also think your Dad is going to extremes here by cutting you out of his life because of ignoring a few of his phone calls/texts etc! Instead of going all the way, he should have discussed his issue with you calmly about being upset you didn't return his call(s).
I get it, you don't like confrontation, I don't either. However, running away from someone, is NOT the way to resolve an issue, it only makes it worse. I don't know what your issue(s) are with him and his wife, because you willfully left that critical info out, whether its to paint yourself in a more flattering light or that you don't know how to properly explain things, I digress, you need to find a more healthy way to deal, as does your father.
I can offer you a solution about how to address your issues without it being face-face: Send him an email, listing and addressing your concerns! This allow you the time to write things down, and not feel pressured to say something "on the spot", this way your words don't get mis-construed, or put him on the defensive.
"I have no way of getting ahold of him" that's an utter load of bullshit, and you know it! You have access to a laptop, you can use your landlinde (assuming your Mom has one), you can ask your Mom to use her phone to call him. Bottom line, you have options here, but, your trying to come up with ANY excuse so that you can avoid discussing things with him.
About the bills? Sorry sunshine, but you need to buck up here! You want a phone? Then you use your money to pay for it, you want to go out on the town once in a while? You use your money!
Its time you start acting like an adult, not a little child.
- PearlLv 72 months ago
i think maybe both of you's mightve been wrong
- TjLv 72 months ago
If you want to get to him, you can write a letter. You need to grow up. You are lucky he has paid whatever this far. Time to grow up and see things as they are.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Paul did you speak? Why? Grace found out a year ago. Grace is a lot. Much dollars
in Camp Tepee. A Baby Ruth is a baby I think. Is a Butterfinger s real finger?
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- Serene ELv 72 months ago
yes, you were wrong.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Lol are your hair blonde??
- Pearl LLv 72 months ago
i think he was wrong
- A CLv 72 months ago
You're trolling, right?