Would you classify this as a rape?
I’ve been struggling with this for a while. Over a year ago, me, my ex and a few friends of mine, drank together at my house. He was there for my friend. I drank the usual amount I do, but he got more hard liquor, mixed it and kept giving me drinks without me knowing. I brought a bed upstairs for him to sleep on and he asked to cuddle, that’s all I remember. I might’ve said yes, probably. I don’t know. I came back to consciousness in the middle of us hooking up. I didn’t remember coming downstairs, but I went along with it anyways. After a minute it started to hurt, so I asked to switch and we did. I blacked out every few minutes, so I don’t remember a lot. It was really hurting so I said I couldn’t anymore, but he didn’t stop. I waited a little then tried again. This time I said it hurt. He still didn’t
. I tried again a few minutes later and he did but only to perform oral on me saying that “it would make me feel better” even tho I said no. After that he put it back in me asking me if it still hurts but not caring and continuing when I said yes. I lost count of how many times I said “I can’t anymore.” “It hurts” “please I can’t”. At one point I was bent over
and tried to crawl away and he pinned me down on my stomach with his body. I remember laying there wondering when he’d be done. After a half hour or so I begged him that I needed to pee so he let me go and I went and ran a warm bath and sat in it. He was asleep when I came back. He was also drunk but not as. Opinions?
- Dr. StephanieLv 72 weeks agoFavorite Answer
Yes, any time you say "NO" and the other person persists, as this one did, its considered "rape". You may wish to consult a counselor in order to deal with any lasting feelings or trauma you have experienced. I hope that , while I don't place any blame on you, that you are learning something about watching what you drink and not allowing yourself to drink to excess and make yourself vulnerable next time around.
- PatriciaLv 72 weeks ago
This is what happens when you drink too much.
- TantraLv 42 weeks ago
Well you repeatedly stated STOP so it should classify as rape however you were clearly intoxicated so there is question about how credible or consistent can you be about your own state of emotion at the time - well you can't.
- papasteveLv 62 weeks ago
I am so sorry what you went through. It sounds like he drugged you and took advantage of you. Yes I would say this was rape. Even if you were not drugged, a good person does not want to have pleasure during sex, when they are aware the other person is not having enjoying it too. And forgive my oldness, But as wild as me and my friends were just out of high school, in college, or in my 20's when I traveled the world, and met many women and had casual sex with some of them, I my friends or anyone I knew, would have sex with a person man or woman who was semi unconsciousness. I was at a lot of parties, and we all got pretty drunk. I can count on 1 hand out of 75 or more parties, how many people passed out and no one ever tried to have sex with them. We took care of each other. If it was early, we might drag the passed out person to another bar, and give them coffee, while we continued to drink and dance or make out with someone. But we never left them alone, or allowed someone to take them to a room alone. If it was a girl, 2 girls took her home or to their hotel, or a guy and a girl. You did nothing wrong, and I am so sorry this jerk hurt you. I would report it, at least to your girl friends who might still hang out with him. And I might also check to see if other girls he knows had something like this happen to them. Odds are this was not the first time he took advantage of a woman. Once you told him it hurts, no, stop, he should have. At the very least he know at some point you wanted him to stop, and he did not. Next time you see him, knee him in the nuts. preferably, in front of others. Then say you know what that is for. then walk away. Or you can find out if he has done this to others and work together to get him in jail or put on the sex registry list. But first and foremost is talk to someone. A counselor at the YWCA. I am a medical advocate for the YWCA. They have good counselors. My prayers are with you.
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- 2 weeks ago
Yes it was rape. Idk if he would rape when sober
- Anonymous2 weeks ago
Yeah, and I’d classify you as drunk.
If you can’t handle your liquor, don’t drink.