Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 3 weeks ago

Why am I treated like this?

Yesterday I was helping out at my kids school in the concession stand. There were 5 other women in there with me. We were all chatting and laughing etc... after the volleyball game we were cleaning the kitchen and one of the women said, “you know, we should all go and have a margarita for a job well done” everybody was like yeah. Then the woman that made the suggestion turned to me and said, “ hey, would you mind staying here with our kids until we get back?” I was like, “no sorry, I have to get home.” I couldn’t believe that I was left out like that. I’m friendly with all these women.  my kids have gone to this school 8+ years, but the other moms never include me

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  • 3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    This is an interesting aspect of female group dynamics, it seems there always has to be someone excluded so the group is exclusive.  The excluded one can be picked due to age, race, status, physical features, different culture, etc.  It can also be due to someone who is naturally more reserved, so doesn’t participate in the group as much or is more outgoing, so doesn’t fit with a more conservative crowd.

    It could also be just that one b!itch excluding you for some reason.  With years of contact and history she may have some perceived reason to dislike, exclude or insult you.

    My suggestion is to not take it personally.  You are not hanging out with these women because you like them, your relationship is based on your kids going to school together and will likely end when your kids no longer go to school together.

    It’s also possible that others noticed her barbed remark and didn’t like it, I would certainly have noticed someone doing that and would dislike seeing anyone treated that way.

    I would also not allow any of them to see that it bothered you, it will make them feel powerful over you and be likely to do it again.

    • Chae-won
      Lv 4
      3 weeks agoReport

      I like that name 'heart  o' gold'.  We all need to be that person.

  • 3 weeks ago

    I would've said 'sure', and as soon as they were gone, I would've taken my kids, left, and then called 911 to report some mothers who ditched their kids at a volleyball game to go drink margaritas.

  • 3 weeks ago

    maybe they dont think you can handle liquor

  • 3 weeks ago

    I can not tell u why - I do not know u and how u e with people. but there is that episode in simpsons when homer tried to help his loser overachiever daughter to get friends so he found that book which was giving advices how to be b1tchy, so one of those was to exclude one member of the group and then he demonstrated it on Moe. it was exactly like in your situation whn he invited everyone to some game but then said to moe sorry, not u buddy. watch simpsons, u may lean a lot from that cartoon

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  • Linda
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    That was beyond rude and if it was me I would not help out anymore at the school with that group of women. For some reason they do not consider you as part of the group. 

  • Leto
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    That was incredibly insensitive and rude of them.  There's no way from what you've told us to determine why they may behave that way.  I'm sorry, but sometimes people are jerks.  

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