Anonymous asked in HealthDiseases & ConditionsOther - Diseases · 9 months ago

How do I comfort/be there for someone in this situation?

My aunt (not blood related at all just knew her since I was a baby so I consider her to be family) her dad was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, he at first had it in his kidney then got it surgically removed then it spread to his brain,heart,liver, spinal cord and lungs. He’s on his last leg and I’m afraid he won’t make it till Christmas...he’s so skinny and sick he looks unrecognizable..I’m so afraid of him dying but I know it will eventually happen.. my aunt already had To walk in on her mom dead a few years ago and now it’s her dad who is her last piece of family..I don’t know what to say or do because I have never experienced this myself..I don’t know what I should do when he does pass away.. please from someone who’s lost someone close to them explain what I need to do to be there for her and help her feel better..I hate seeing the people around me go through this pain.

2 Answers

  • Hope!
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    Say you are sorry, and then just be there for them.. sit quietly, and see if they want to talk - let her start the conversation though.. over the next few weeks or months, just be there - go over, invite her out, ask if she wants to watch a movie or take a walk.. if she wants to talk about it with you, she will. But what people really need is just to have someone nearby, who cares, so that they do not feel alone. 

  • 9 months ago

    If you had ever had the unfortunate experience of losing someone close, you would know that there's very little you or anyone else can do to make the situation better. Dealing with death is an internal process that no one else can see or really share.  

    So the best that you can do is tell them  you feel bad and acknowledge that its a big loss.  It does usually help a little remind them of fun or good things about the person that died and to offer fun or interesting diversions to get them out of the house.   

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.