Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 weeks ago

Husband hasn’t slept with me for 2 years?

I don’t even know where to start with this..

My husband is 28 years old..when we first got together our sex life was good, but it slowly got less and less until eventually just nothing. I’ve asked the same thing about a million times asking what’s wrong and why he doesn’t want to.. he always says he doesn’t know what’s wrong.. he says he struggles to get an erection and always complains of being tired. He has been to the doctors numerous times regarding the issue after me making him go.. he then had a circumcision as he had complained about feeling sore, that hasn’t changed anything. We have done Couples therapy, he has attended a therapist himself to try get to the route of the problem. Absolutely nothing has worked.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I always have thoughts about it being me that’s the problem or even worse I sometimes question his sexuality.. I thought men were meant to want to have sex?

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has been through a similar situation? 

I just don’t know if love is enough anymore, I’m still young and I can’t spend my life going on like this :( 

27 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    Men have emotions just like women and while in youth their bodies often do get ahead of their hearts and brains it doesn't mean they're just lifelong sex machines. It sounds like you're pursuing all the right outside help to try to remedy this. But sometimes it takes something like a long couples vacation to kickstart things. Take him out of the regular environment where you can both focus more on each other.

  • hart
    Lv 6
    2 weeks ago

    alcohol or drugs

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    he is not right

    you could hit me on the member with a hammer and I would have sex - pain is not it

    he is not a heterosexual an the excuses are just that 

    the few and I mean few men not wanting sex verse the women wanting sex all the time means you have a wide open filed 

    find a new man 

    this assuming your attractive and pleasant to be with and not a money spending machine.

    lots of men get real turned off if the wife is a spending fool keeping them broke thinking sex fixes that

    rejecting you if your a money burner is his way of saying n o sex does not make that ok 

  • 2 weeks ago

    Seems some problem in you??? 

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  • 2 weeks ago

    I feel where you are coming from. I'm in a very similar situation with my husband. Both of us are 24 and I am crazy about sex but a lot of the time he doesnt want to and rejects me. He is going to counseling and I am currently looking for one as well. I love him a lot but don't want to spend my life feeling like I'm the problem. I dont know what you can do beyond talking directly and going to counseling. At some point you have to choose you or an unhappy marriage. It will be hard and I hope it doesnt have to come to that but a lot of times, no one will choose you except you. Definitly (if you divorce) try to find a new partner who is sexually compatible with you. 

  • 2 weeks ago

    Start acting indifferent and watch him come back 

  • kristy
    Lv 6
    2 weeks ago

    You’ve tried everything and gave him plenty of chances. Find someone who is good in bed and satisfies you then dump the hubby.

  • 3 weeks ago

    An honest discussion right now and ask him if there is a problem.  You are right, after two years something has to change,  somewhere.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Give him a hug and a massage and stop asking about "what's wrong."

    Also, don't expect a useful answer from random strangers on the internet when you've already been to doctors and couples counseling.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I bet he's sleeping with someone.

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