How to get MIL to stop trying to convert me?

I’ve made it clear I’m comfortable with myself and choices. She tricked me into coming to a prayer group that was had organized a special breakfast just for me. I felt like I was at a dinner for schmucks. Everyone brought a godless person they wanted to convert. 

I can’t believe my MIL tricked me into coming to this event. She said it was just breakfast with her girlfriends. 

She is just overstepping boundaries and my husband is useless. 

6 Answers

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  • k w
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    desperate/fearful people do desperate things....I was able to find God/YHVH my way in my own time, you should be able to as well, besides our Father is more than fair, He will make sure you are taught the Word, before making anykind of Judgment....tho people just always hear fear, malarky, mans imaginings not truth....pretty sad, no wonder there are so many non believers, the teachers teach traditions of me, not Gods/YHVH Word from the Bible.....

  • 4 weeks ago

    It's either the MIL who is seeking for the "perfect" DIL

    or your husband who outsources your conversion to his Mom.

    In both cases, your marriage is endangered. Be clear and firm on your choices in order to save it. 

    You and your husband are your family now, not anymore the parents.

    ...Or it was just her sect good deed week and everyone will forget the incident.

    Let's hope so.

    • ob1knob
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      Nice to know your couple is OK,
      Let's assume your MIL has been challenged by her prayer group to "save" your soul, and she complied... just once.

  • A C
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    Look, I am a Christian and I understand that your mother-in-law loves you and is concerned about your salvation.  But the only thing you can do is politely decline any further invitations and change the subject when she brings up religious matters.  Some of us need to learn to take "no" for an answer and just pray for people.  You could even tell her to just pray for you.  Try not to let it cause problems in your marriage.  

    • A C
      Lv 6
      3 weeks agoReport

      Not a good solution, Jerry. 

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You need to be firm.  What she did was absolutely reprehensible and it would be perfectly understandable if you cut off all contact with her.  In fact, that's probably the best way to deal with someone like her. But if you want to try and get through the holidays, let her know that you will not tolerate this crap anymore.  She has one chance to straighten up or the relationship is over.  She needs to understand that her actions have consequences, and you need to spell out what those consequences are and follow through.

    My sister had a similar issue - she was dating a guy from a conservative Christian family at one point and they were determined to convert her.  What you have to understand is that to them, this is not negotiable.  From their perspective, not being a Christian makes you fall somewhere on a continuum between being a bad person and being someone who is in danger of spending eternity in Hell if they don't convert you.  It's a mission to them.  You can't change that.  In my sister's case, it ended their relationship (as well as three more relationships he had later, until he cut off all contact with his parents and finally found someone they couldn't harass).  You should also discuss this with your husband, because if you cut her out of your life, she can still apply pressure on him that can tear the two of you apart.  He needs to be on board and back you up.  You might try getting a third party involved, like a therapist who can suggest ways of the two of you working as a team here.

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  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    OK, so now that she has so clearly engaged in deception and trickery you have the perfect justification for cutting her off whenever she attempts to speak to you about religion or faith. "Martha, you've shown yourself to be a liar and hypocrite. You're the one who needs spiritual guidance, not me. Don't bother me with your empty pretense of piety; I know it's nothing but self importance and pride." 

    A spouse who can't speak up and say "Mom, leave ___ alone; this isn't something for you to concern yourself in" is a liability, not an asset. 

    • Rufus T. Firefly
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      Are MIL still called Martha? We may be in the Jennifer and Michelle era.
      Anyway. I still reference kids as Timmy. ;)

  • 4 weeks ago

    Welcome to mothers in law. ;)

    You don't say if your husband is Christian or not. It would help to know. And if he's tried anything.

    • Rufus T. Firefly
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      His mode may be "You knew this before". But dating is different from marriage with the in laws. Develop your own survival skills knowing now going in she's crafty.And never go in to the unknown without a buddy. Hopefully you don't see her too often. Don't move her in ;)

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