To come clean?

Ok so I’ve got this women at my work who I work with and have become good friends. She is engaged and I’m in a happy healthy relationship.

Because I spend a lot of time with her people sometimes become infatuated or feel something for them. For the basis that I would never cheat on my partner and never mess with a engagement or relationship. Would saying it to her getting it all out, help me progress on in life? I don’t want anything from it I just feel like I need to tell her so I can move on? Is this possible? Or should it be something I just need to keep to myself and deal with it over tome and it may eventually fade? Would it effect the dynamic of our friendship? So many questions can anyone shed any light or help towards this. 

4 Answers

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  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You might want to keep your feelings to yourself as you do not want anything to come of it. I gues this is like saying don't rock the boat.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Cogito is correct.  Beyond the observations she has offered, there is also the fact that she is engaged.  You can no more contemplate confessing your feelings for her than you can contemplate cheating on her husband, or on your own future spouse.  And that is an exceptionally bad place to be.  Somebody else got to her first - that's just too bad, but that's the way it is, and you'll be happier in the long run if you learn to think of that as an unbreakable rule.

    Look - it is natural to feel things for people that we are closely involved with.  That's how we're designed to operate.  But we're also designed to feel hunger when we see something tasty...that doesn't mean it would be a good idea to eat everything that inspires a sense of hunger.  This is the same thing.  To remain a contributor to, and supporter of, your community and family, you must exercise self-control on this one, just like you do when presented with other appeals to your fundamental desires.

    Good luck!

    • Cedric3 weeks agoReport

      I fully agree with what you are saying, I would never jeopardise  someone else’s relationship for the sake of my feeling I’m not like that and never will. 
      I’m going to have to learn to treasure our friendship and not wreck what we have. Thank you 

  • Keep it to yourself. It would affect the dynamic of your friendship because it would make it very awkward. Deal with it overtime and eventually and hopefully it will fade

  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    No - say nothing about that at all.

    It would make her feel really awkward and probably mean the end of your friendship.

    What good do you imagine telling her would do?  It would achieve nothing good at all.  

    You do NOT need to tell her.  Don't even think about doing that!

    • Cedric3 weeks agoReport

      I suppose just getting it out and saying it would help me progress in our friendship. I see what you’re saying and this is why I ask questions first :-) thank you 

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