How to ask for forgiveness from someone when you hate each other’s guts ?

I have been resenting and despising this person for over a year or more now. I felt so unjustly hurt by them by their choices/actions over a sensitive situation to me, when really a lot of it was created in my head and the a lot of the facts in the situation was really my fault.

This happened a few years ago but I cannot sleep at night. I get the feeling they think about me too but we both play games in hating each other acting like we don’t exist and torturing our souls.

I feel like we could heal this and that a conversation or even a meet up(maybe too much) maybe inevitable eventually to start healing the pain. 

I feel to scared to drop a message as they may not have any trust for me still after what happened. I cut them from my life years ago and stopped talking to them completely. I did apologise before; but it was in a needy way and not a way of healing or maturity. 

I don’t even know if they even care; but I just don’t know how to handle this as I don’t want to die knowing this could have been resolved.

8 Answers

  • .....
    Lv 4
    7 days ago

    Forgive is changing your thinking. Release any intent against any and all people. Let it go. Leave them alone to live their life, to learn as God intends they should learn. If they don't listen to God, this is their choice.

     But you are responsible to God for your choices and thoughts. Keep yourself  clean from unforgiveness and then God will allow you to accept forgiveness as well. Break the chain. Forgive whether you speak to them or not.

  • 2 weeks ago

     "hey, i'm sorry about all the bullshit.."  can we just move on from here"?   and then if he wants to, or she wants to hold on to hate that won't help anyone in this trying time of survival, at least you put it down and you are willing to move on …  She should drop it, or she's just hurting herself holding on to the hate..        I'm trying to forgive people as they spit in my face, starting with my own family..  try that one on for size...   wish you luck...

  • j153e
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    Forgive the person in your thoughts and prayers.  It doesn't excuse the person from accountability for their actions, but your forgiving them simply allows you to move forward.

    The Kindness Challenge by Shaunti Feldhahn,

    and Understanding Yourself by Mark Prophet have helped many.

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    a few years ago?  I'd have cut my losses and moved on from them long ago.  Some people I guess looooove being a martyr.

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  • LP7
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    It could possibly be resolved through your own forgiveness of yourself.You are not perfect and we all make mistakes.It may have been painful experience but you are continuing to allow it to consume you today.And yes, the other person is probably getting on with their own life.

  • 2 weeks ago

    Yes, you should definitely apoligize, they are probaly guilty about it too.

  • 2 weeks ago

    One way to get a toe in would be to send a Christmas card; wishing them the best. This action on your part might get something started, or not. You haven't been in each other's lives for years so something or nothing will happen.

    Let go.

    Start practicing the Golden Rule of not doing to others what you hate. Be kind to those around you. You can't expect everyone to like's OK. As an anonymous writer said: Love many, trust few; harm none.

  • 2 weeks ago

    Fart toads out of your vagina at the person.

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