Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 3 weeks ago

Should I cancel the surprise party and book a weekend getaway alone with my boyfriend?

Long story short...

- Have been planning a surprise party for my boyfriend that will be at an Airbnb with his friends for his birthday weekend.

- One of his friends has been helping me by contacting and finding out from my bf's friends who can go. 

- We established a small guest list, I found the Airbnb, and he told other friends

- Last night he was finding out from the other friends when they could get me the money (I'm booking the Airbnb, and it's going on my CC, will be charged half now half in Dec. And if not paid immediately, it'll accumulate interest)

- Bf's birthday is in January, due to it being so close to holidays one couple already dropped out

So, now I'm wondering if I should not even try, and just book a place for him and I for the weekend? I found THE PERFECT place, and I think he would LOVE it. It's got a pool and a hot tub and I would love to book it for him and I. I think he would just adore it. 

I just have this feeling that due to it being so close to the holidays all his friends will say they'll go and bail. The friend helping me - his girlfriend - even asked me when we had a chance to get together recently how much per person (roughly $125-$150) and mentioned it was close to the holidays. So clearly, it's not something everyone is overly into idea wise.

I feel like I should just talk to his friend and mention the concern and say I feel like it would be better if I tool him out. Him and I. 

Any ideas or advice?

2 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    You decided to throw a surprise destination birthday party during the holidays that you are charging the invited guests $125-$150 per to attend? And you need to get paid now in order to not have that interest on your credit card? I think you need to cancel that plan. Cancel it out entirely. Whatever else you decide to do, don't expect other people to pay for it.

    • history
      Lv 7
      3 weeks agoReport

      Oh. I thought you were telling us that you had doubts people were coming or paying and you were thinking of doing something else! Sorry to "twist your words". Certainly not my intent. It read like you had made an alternate decision and were looking for agreement! I agreed but I guess I was wrong. 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Inviting people to a weekend getaway and then uninviting them is rude.

    Booking the thing before you have collected the money is a recipe for being stuck with the bill.

    Let people know they need to pay you within a week if they want to go.   Don't book it until you're paid.   If they don't pay by the due date, then they have declined your invitation (which is much better than uninviting them).  

    If not enough people pay to cover the cost, you can then choose a smaller place or refund their money or you can all agree to pay a bit extra.   Cross that bridge if/when it comes.

    You really should be communicating with these people directly.   Playing telephone through a third-party is a sure-fire way for miscommunication and miffed feelings to occur.

    ETA:  If truly none of them seem into it, there is no reason you can't ask them if they'd rather hold off for now.    Asking their preference really isn't uninviting them.   Word it carefully so you don't give them the impression you're pressuring them to go or are trying to give them the heave-ho.   You're in the thick of it now.   LOL!  That's why I suggested just give them the dates, the amount and then let their money do their talking for them.   They'll pay or they won't. 

    • Vicki
      Lv 5
      3 weeks agoReport

      next week. And yeah, go from there. Book a smaller place if no one pays or go from there.

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