Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 weeks ago

Should this bother me? Yay or nay?

I was going through the shed to find Christmas decorations, and I come across 2 boxes that have my husbands ex wife stuff in it. It had crafts, school stuff, bags, etc. I asked my husband if he knew it was still here and he said yes, but didn’t know what all was really in it. He said he was going to get it to her, but I don’t know when because we work hectic hours. A while ago, we did pack up everything that was hers in the house and left it on carport. She did come and get it then. They were together on and off for 6 years and have a kid together. They been divorced for 2 years. We all get along really good (she’s married also) and I don’t want to ruin it over this. Should I let this bother me? Or should I let it go? Does it mean anything like he still has feelings? I know she probably forgot about it because life gets in the way. 

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  • 3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes, you do seem to be overreacting. I don't think your husband is emotionally attached to the items. On the contrary, if he's like most guys, he couldn't care less about such items, and it's just that returning them is at the bottom of his to-do list. Maybe you need to do the same.

  • David
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    OK, on keeping stuff...

    If you haven't used it for one year,

    Or if you don't plan to use it for at least one year,

    Then you need to get rid of it immediately. Trash it, donate it, or sell it. But trash it if it doesn't sell fast.

    You say your husband has been divorced for 2 years. That means...

    She's probably forgotten that she ever owned that "stuff"

    And he would have forgotten all about it too, if you hadn't asked about it.

    I know most guys couldn't accurately list all their own stuff that is stored in the shed, let alone remember the contents of a box of junk owned by the ex wife...

    You want to get bothered over this? Well, consider this....

    The stuff in those boxes very likely means less to your husband than the ant he didn't know he stepped on when he left the house for work this morning.

    You want to be bothered over WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    Put another way...

    After two years, you find random garbage that has been in your shed. If you had immediately trashed it...

    It's likely that neither your husband or his ex wife would have EVER noticed it was missing.

    nay!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 3 weeks ago

    Let it go. Like most guys, he forgot about the stuff and it was not high on his to-do list. Regarding having feelings, well, there will be times in his life when he thinks of her. They had a romance, they were married. There may be a song, a whiff of a certain perfume. Memories come back. But he is with you. Remember that. 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Don’t worry yourself over things like these. Let it go. It could have just been forgotten. Or maybe it’s a little piece of her that he keeps. Why does it matter. Some people do keep a token of people that they cherished or loved in the past. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you probably means it’s good memories. let it go. Don’t fret over unnecessary stuff. I’m sure he loves you!! Just keep loving him. 

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  • 3 weeks ago

    I think you are being a little bit too dramatic, I mean after all you found them in the Shed not in some secret shrine dedicated to her. Your husband probably see's this as a box of crap and that's why it's in the shed. 

    They've got a kid so he's going to save her stuff just to avoid any petty arguments later down the line. 

    Should see the amount of stuff in my shed, not all of it's mine... some does belong to previous partners. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    Should this bother me? Yay or nay? - no-one else can tell you how to feel.. What might bother you, might not bother me - that doesn't make one of us right and the other wrong, it just makes a different.

    Its probably just a box, half forgotten about and I am not sure what you are worried about given you say you have both remarried and you all get on well

    You are overthinking a situation and worrying about nothing

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