Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 year ago

The usual holiday dread is building in me. How do I distract myself and enjoy the holidays?

I dread flashbacks to when we were kids and our Mom told us her family (who she had a falling out with) did not want to have a relationship with us. This hurt more then anything to hear and made me blame my Mom for the whole feud. Her father was an alcoholic and she supposedly was protecting us though I feel she was only protecting herself. We kids missed out. As a result that loss, shame, and rejection opens especially now that the grandparents have died. We did get close to them for their later years (2nd half of my childhood).

Also I am mentally ill and in treatment. Society builds the holidays as a time when we must be joyful. This makes my depression go way up. I become obsessed on whether or not I will enjoy Christmas and after Christmas is over I become obsessed on whether I enjoyed it or not (absent cases where it goes great). My depression continues into the week following Christmas and lifts after the New Year.

So any ideas on distracting myself this year so not to be so miserable?

6 Answers

  • Faith
    Lv 7
    1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    Therapy will definitely help you with this. You need to learn to turn your thoughts about. Depression lies to you so therapy will teach you how to turn the lie into the truth. I also grew up in a pretty bad situation and even now many years later those memories still haunt.

    The best tip I can give from my own situation is to remind yourself that you survived. You are a survivor and those bad times are over. Focus on creating happy memories. Tell yourself that this will be a good time and make some plans and goals such as if you have never had a real Christmas tree get one. My family did this a few years ago after having fake trees. I LOVE having a real tree and it is now a family tradition.

    Volunteer to help others this season. I have found focusing on others is a huge help with depression. Look into packing a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child. My church is actually a drop off place and I've been to the actual center where all the boxes go before they are shipped out. It is wonderful to do things for others and it takes the focus off yourself. 

    Maybe contact a church or your local social services and ask if they know of a needy family. You can buy gifts for them.

    Hope this helps

  • 1 year ago

    I'm sure your mother was protecting herself from her father, as well as protecting you. If you didn't grow up in an alcoholic home, then you don't know the nightmare of that sort of life. It can be horrifying and leaves a huge impact on the children of the alcoholic. I wouldn't want you around that guy either, if you were my child. No way.

    My father was an alcoholic so i know the fear, the horror, the abuse, the embarrassment and more. I severed the relationship with my father when i was 34. Best thing i ever did. The monster was out of my life and i was finally safe. I'm sure your mother felt very unsafe around her father. Why would you want to expose her to that? Or expose yourself to it either?

    We all make choices every day when we get out of bed. Either we decide the day is going to be crap, or the day is going to be great. I choose great days. Sure, i have life problems but i don't let that impact my entire day or life. I do the best i can. I take care of ME first.

    You have convinced yourself that the holidays are depressing. Change your thinking. It's a new day and a completely different day, every day, whether it's christmas or the day after New Year

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Volunteering to help other people would be a great distraction for you.  At least they would be grateful that you were there, that you were doing something to help them have a better Christmas than they otherwise would have had and they will value the effort you have made to help them.  What could be nicer than seeing other people who may be struggling for various reasons, having a happy Christmas?

    A long walk can also be a lovely thing to do at Christmas, or any other time of course!  Lots of people are out walking too you will find, some of them just like you who may be wanting to get away from their own troubles for a while!

    Many many people dislike Christmas for very similar reasons to yourself, please don't despair.  Don't let your past ruin your future, be kind to yourself and others and make some changes to your routine this Christmas.  x

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Once upon a time there was a dark mining town in the north with a terrible reputation. The men who lived there were brutal. Fights, thefts and even murders were common. Everyone knew to stay away.

    One day, a traveler.... pregnant with child... had a baby there and died. The helpless little girl was now the center of attention in the dingy barracks where the men lived. They put her in a crate and covered her with their own clothes - filthy rags.

    Soon they saw how wrong that looked, and two went to a neighboring town to buy a clean blanket and supplies for her. Others went to the nearest city and bought her a crib.

    This little baby, lying in a new crib with fresh linens made the floors look wrong. Soon the men were all down on their hands and knees scrubbing every inch of the place. Then the walls looked bad in contrast to the floors, and so they washed them too.

    Next they saw how clean everything was... but they were not. The local trading post quickly sold out of soaps, bedding, clothes and grooming kits.

    When the men went to work at the mine, to care for the child and encourage themselves, they brought the baby with them. Nestled in a carrier, just outside the entrance to the mine, they took turns coming to see her - each one's face lighting up at the sight of her.

    But the mine itself was too dirty for this babe: so they planted some flowers to make it nicer. Soon the change had spilled over into the town, and everything was looking better. Best of all they were all ACTING better.

    The fighting stopped. The robberies stopped. No one was afraid. No one raged. They loved each other like brothers because of that little baby girl.

    That is what Jesus did for us. We are witnesses to His glory. It is His goodness and righteousness that is in stark contrast to our 'filthy rags'. He has given us new hearts and renewed our minds.

    You were created by God and for God, to love Him and to be loved by Him, dear reader. All the temporary pleasures on the planet cannot replace Him. His love is better than life itself.  He is what Christ-mas is all about.

    Why sit there until you die?  

    If you remain where you are, you must perish.  

    If you go to Jesus you will live. If you sit in sullen dispair no one can pity you when your ruin comes; but if you were to die SEEKING MERCY (as IF that were possible) you would be the object of universal sympathy.  

    You know others who were saved by believing in Him (your own friends and neighbors); so why not you? Why not taste and see that the Lord is merciful?  

    To perish is awful. We assure that if you seek Him, you will find Him, for He casts out none who come to Him. You shall not perish if you trust Him. On the contrary; you shall find treasure; eternal treasure, that will be stored up for you beyond this life.  

    We preach to the living even where the vultures gather because we must. Because we know the truth, and the truth will set you free. Because we too were about to perish when we got up and sought mercy for ourselves. We preach because God has ordained us to do just that. A sacred responsibility.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    You refuse to  help yourself. Small wonder the normal people in your family don't want to associate with you.


  • martin
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Holidays aren't your thing, but what is? Maybe you need to be honest and decide once and for all what your "thing" is, meaning what is it that you have faith in more than anything else, and then stick to that instead of this Christmas stuff.

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