The guy I like is really stressed out right now. How can I let him know I’m here for him, without overstepping boundaries?

I like this guy who’s in my classes at university. We’ve talked here and there, talk mostly about school or work. But we were able to talk about hobbies, what we’re passionate about and so forth. I sat next to him in class today, and I couldn’t help but notice he seemed extremely stressed out. As an INFJ, I tend to really absorb or detect others emotions. So I felt his stress very intensely, which freaked me out if I’m being honest. I could tell he’s stressed out, probably about school and other things going on in his life. I wanted to say something to him, but it felt like his anxiety became mine. So I had to walk away to compose myself. I felt like crying because I really wanted to help but didn’t know how to. I don’t understand why I’m already feeling these things for him, when we’ve only known each other for about a month. But I feel like he’s the kind of person who doesn’t open up easily.

How can I let him know that I care and I’m there for him, without pushing him further? How can I like address or acknowledge his stress without making the situation worse?


INFJ is a personality type which basically means the person is intuitive to others emotions.

4 Answers

  • 3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    You might invite him to share a cup of coffee with you, and let him know that you've been observing him to be stressed out. Ask if there's anything you can do, including just listening, if he'd care to talk about it.  Then, respect whatever he chooses to say or not say about it. P.S. I have no idea what "INFJ" stands for, it might be to your benefit not to use such abbreviations, if you want the best replies. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    Ask him if you could take him out to lunch

  • 3 weeks ago

    just tell him what you just told us

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Offer to provide oral anytime he desires it. That’ll release tons of stress. 

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