Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 9 months ago

Why do people blame me for being sexually abused as a child?

They say I participated so have no right to be upset. I was ages 5 to 9 before my step-father was arrested and committed suicide. My mother has blamed me ever since. I am 33 now and only see her at family events.

4 Answers

  • 9 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ah. She's not blaming you. She's blaming herself for dropping the ball.

    Your mother didn't protect you like she should have. Which is partially why I'm for people not having kids. No offense to you or me, but parents in general don't know how to raise kids and they can't be with kids 24-7 to protect.

    There are sick parents out there who also allow sexual abuse. As surprising as it is, I've met one victim of condoned rape. The mother allowed her husband to have sex with her daughter to keep him happy.

    Forget your mother. If she can't put it in the past, that's HER problem. Personally, I'd cut ties indefinitely for choosing his side.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    cause they dont want to blame themselves

  • Mark
    Lv 5
    9 months ago

    Why are you even going to family events that involve her? You owe her NOTHING; stop being at her beck and call, and rid yourself of her toxicity. Seriously. You owe it to your self-preservation, sanity and peace of mind to cut them out of your sphere of influence. They've already done more than enough damage. It's highly unlikely she's ever going to admit responsibility, let alone apologise, so there's no point holding your breath hoping for some miraculous change to happen. It won't. You have your relative freedom to hold onto - and an ever-evolving, loving relationship with your inner child to attend. That is an ongoing thing.

  • 9 months ago

    You didn't make the choice for the guy to commit suicide. It was his choice alone, and i'm sure it had absolutely nothing to do with you. People kill themselves because they feel hopeless about their lives, are depressed and feel as if their life problems are too big for them to solve or come to terms with.

    Your mother sounds like she has some emotional/mental illness issues.

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