Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Politics & GovernmentLaw & Ethics · 4 weeks ago

What to expect in Domestic Violence hearing?

I am the victim in a domestic violence case. My ex boyfriend choked me from behind and then threw me on the bed and continue to choke me for an about additional 20 seconds. I finally was able to get him off of me and he started apologizing. Called the police on him and I got an emergency protection order that night which lasted for a week. I have had no help from anyone I was assigned a worker from the victim advocate and I have emailed her to ask about the court process and everything...nothing. So I am already going in with a defeatist attitude. 

Fast forward to today, we both go into court tomorrow for the hearing. I was subpoena to attend since I am a witness/victim. I am extremely nervous to go and have to relive that moment again I am also scared to see him. Like I get nauseous from the fear of going tomorrow to court. I have never been through this before so the unknowing is frightening. He also been bugging about me about stuff he left me at my house. He gave me a kitchen table, dresser, and bed. His friend who he was staying with during the emergency protection order messaged me and said my ex said I could have it and he just needed to get the rest of his stuff. Which I allowed. If he wanted the other items he would of took them. When he came he left the items that he said I could have. Can he take back gifts? 

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You take a really deep breath to calm yourself, and you take any and all proof to Court (for example, the message concerning property), and you tell the truth.  If you are very frightened, you tell that to the Judge.

    In many areas the domestic violence social workers are a waste of time, seriously overworked.  I see that all the time in my State.

  • 4 weeks ago

    When you go there tomorrow, tell the judge everything honestly and do not hold back. Also do not worry about breaking down and crying in front of the judge, because that can actually help you. The judge can see how it has affected you. 

    As for belongings, let the judge appoint someone to pick them up and deliver them to him. It is not worth trying to keep things he wants. Just let it go and move on. 

    Call the victim advocate office again if you have time and ask to speak to someone else or a manager to explain that you need help at the hearing. It sounds as if you are out of time on that one though. Maybe she will show up at the hearing to assist. If not, just tell it like it is. 

    Good luck. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    I'm so sorry to hear this, especially about the victim advocate. There are other groups that help victims of domestic violence- some who run shelters, for example. It's probably too late for you to find them before tomorrow, but please know that you can be strong and tell your story in court- and you need to, to stop this man from hurting others.

    As for the things- that's an issue for small claims court. With a protection order, you can require that he send someone else to pick up his things. Judges usually say that a gift is a gift, but it can be hard to prove that the intention was to give something, and not just to share it while living together. If I were you, I'd let the stuff go and just be glad this guy was out of my life. 

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