Why has he gone cold?

Back story my childs father broke up with me during my pregnancy and resurfaced just a few months after she was born. The last 10 months hes been reaching out with the love and miss you txts and calls. I kept it strictly about our child and nothing more but about 2 months ago I had a weak moment and told him I loved him to which he seemed happy about. Will skip a month he seems to have gone cold. I sent him a txt telling him I noticed he doesnt say he misses or loves me anymore and that I worked hard to bury the hurt he put me through and was doing really well for a while only to be hurting all over again.

 We have spoken since I sent the text and he didnt comment on it nor even acknowledge it and hast  really been in contact the last 2 days.  How can you suddenly just be cold towards someone you claimed you loved an missed ? 

Update:

I also found out after the break up the whole time he started dating someone else and was helping with her kids....this was hard to swallow. He said he was done with her though when he came back into the picture. Not sure if that helps. 

6 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm going to give you a bit of tough love because it seems like you need it, I applaud the fact that you've taken on the challenge of motherhood which as we all know is not an easy role. Along the way you're going to make mistakes so don't beat yourself up about it too much. With this added emotional distress I'm sure you're feeling a bit lost inside but with time I promise you things will get better.

    I'm not saying he's the kind of dude I'm going to describe because I don't know him personally but his characteristics seems the same to me. Guys like that would usually go to the ends of the earth to make you love them so you can never move on from them.

    Just because you're a single mom doesn't mean you can't move on and find time for dating. That doesn't mean you have to introduce your child to every guy you date but at the least they should know about your kid, plus in a way it would be a great thing for you too emotionally.

    How involved is he in the kids life financially, emotionally and just in general?

    Don't let him sweet talk his way into your life just to cause you pain.

    He text "I miss you" you text

    "Well Baby Boo just dropped a deuce and I'm on my last pampers bring some milk and money for clothes while you're at it"

    Put his behind in court for maintenance even if you don't need the money and lets be honest the money isn't going to be that much anyway.

    You make him take responsibility you didn't make this kid alone

    Most women wouldn't want to do that but there's no such thing as a free ride if you know what I mean. Don't let him wait 20 plus years to start coming around to play father of the year.

    Anyways I hope I helped even a little.

    Maybe one of the girls on here might have a better answer for you from a female perspective. Good Luck, be safe and just know you deserve better don't let one ahole change that willingness and compassion you have to love and trust into something bitter. Better will come it always does...

  • 3 weeks ago

    Look, girl, wise the hell up! It's VERY EASY To say the words!!!! Doens't mean he feels them!

    If he felt them, he would be acting differently!

    So accept he doesn't love you, he uses them to get to you. if you fall for his BS, then YOU are stupid.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Well guys mature slowly...he should be at least involved in the child's life....work, buy diapers, watch her. I'd encourage that.

    Thats a huge adjustment you know that, hes still learning.

    I'd try to include him more in her life without any pressure just an invite.

    I think after a few visits your baby will be happy to see him and maybe that will change his heart a bit.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    If ever there was a big enough ball to keep you chained to a loser, it’s this one. We love being needed. We eat that up like a chocolate chip hot fudge sundae with a cherry on top.

    “Women tend to over-give to people who don’t give as much back,what you call “love,” therapists label as “co-dependency,” “enabling” or “emotional extortion.”

    We’re then sucked into unhealthy relationships because serving in their lives makes us feel good about ourselves

    Attachment image
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  • 3 weeks ago

    The worst thing you can do is ***** and moan to him about what he put you through. A strong sassy female holds her head up and doesn't let him back in.

    You have a child together, so you're going to have to work that out. I suggest getting legal counsel. He needs to be paying child support.

    And if he contacts you about anything other than your child together, don't discuss anything and don't let him know he hurt you. He sounds like a totalAss

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    The reason you don't know why he's gone cold is you decided to have a very important convo with him over text.  I will never, ever understand this!  I like texting as much as anyone, but if I ever noticed my husband getting distant, I wouldn't cheapen the convo by having it with my thumbs.

    Now you're asking randoms online why he's gone cold, when none of us have ever even met him.   So yeah, the next time you bring something like this up, do it in person (or at least a phone call).  

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