Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 3 weeks ago

I need answers please... Is this immaturity or selfishness? Why do I want attention and affection from females?

Hey guys! I'm 19 years old and a female.

I was raised in an environment full of love but for some weird reason, I really feel the need of attention and affection from females, older than me. Not in a sexual way but in a motherly way.

It gets so intense sometimes that I think I'm crazy!

When a woman touches me (in a platonic way of course) I get attached to them.

I've been like that since I remember myself. In school, every time a female teacher hugged me or pat my head etc, I got attached to her and wanted to be around them.

I'm so embarrassed about it and I always thought I am so weird because of it.

I would understand that if I didn't get any affection as a child but I'm pretty sure I did. I wasn't abused either. So it's really weird and embarrassing.

This is the first time I talk about it because I'm extremely confused since I'm 19 and I still feel that way. I thought it would go away but nope...

So, I'm starting to believe that it's either selfishness or immaturity. I honestly don't know what else it could be.

Please help me, I think I'm going crazy!

Update:

To those who said I enjoy affection, it's not that I just enjoy it but I feel a HUGE need to have it. I'm desperate for it. That's the problem.

11 Answers

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  • 2 weeks ago

    You could be a narcissist who craves admiration and needs validation.

  • Linda
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    There is nothing wrong with you but my thoughts are that something occurred in your past that is making you crave older women's attention and you need it to feel life is ok. Maybe explore this with a therapist but there is nothing bad about it. You need love and nurturing in your life or this would not be an issue.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Well, you breezed right past your childhood by saying you were surrounded by love, but - sounds like perhaps you weren't. That would explain your strong need that persists for motherly attention. Might want to take a second look at just how much love and attention you did get as a child?

  • j153e
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Do you have a favorite plush animal that you can hold as you go to sleep?

    You might benefit by trying a weighted blanket--the 5-15 pounds hugs you while you sleep, and is used clinically, has good results.  https://www.amazon.com search phrase "weighted blanket;" also at https://www.walmart.com etc.

    Understanding Yourself by Mark Prophet and

    For Couples Only by Shaunti Feldhahn are helpful.

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  • Luby
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    It used to give me butterflies when teachers would pat my hair or fix my collar. I think it's just a feeling of being wanted by someone you can trust or count on. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    Neither actually just you form 

    attachments so easily.

    Consider reducing the strength and depth of your 

    by using some detachment with attachments if it 

    happens

    Again, so clearly not a fault or character issue just

    Nature that would support survival in the very

    Distant cave person past, so you would be highly

    Valued way back then thanks.

    Thanks

    Very Best Wishes

    Mars

    Source:) Personal views cited

  • 3 weeks ago

    It sounds a little immature, but if you do not feel that you got approval from the Mother figures in you life as a child, you may be searching for that.

    I have a relative who was the oldest child in the family, but now says her mother never approved of anything she did, which is not true, but it is how she feels. She is always searching for approval from older women and at 81 is hard to find.

  • 3 weeks ago

    You do enjoy affection.

    There is nothing wrong with it.

  • 3 weeks ago

    You are alright. First, wipe off all your thoughts of you being weird. No one is weird, all are different in their own way. This is not a bizarre behavior because this does not affect anyone unless you expect a physical relationship with the person. But at the same time, you must step into their shoes and think their way and make them feel not so awkward. Do not expect people to think the same way how you expect them to think. 

    You are neither being selfish nor immature, you are psychologically craving for affection from people who are like your mother. It can be true if you love your mother far too much. You are normal, let this not bother you. Have a good day!

  • 3 weeks ago

    You enjoy affection. Its not a big deal

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