Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 weeks ago

I dislike my boyfriends parents .. ?

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for 8 months now. I’m 20, he’s 21. He’s everything I want in a guy, we always have the best times together, and he treats me like a queen. I have one problem though, I don’t like his parents. I don’t like his parents for a couple of reasons, however, they do apparently like me. His mom gave me a LV bag and we always go out together (just her and I) also his dad lives with him for work. His dad is nice to me for the most part, but he was awful rude on a few occasions, and his mom makes insulting “jokes” and then says I’m sensitive afterwards for getting offended by them. My boyfriend also Loves his parents A LOT. I just don’t like them and I don’t know what to do in the situation. Should I break up with him for this?? We’ve only had a few arguments and all of them were about his parents. His dad was so rude to me a few weeks ago that I actually stopped going there .. I just know when we have kids or share finances that they might be too close for comfort & I don’t think my boyfriend would tell them to **** off.  My ideal outcome would be for my boyfriend to just cut ties with them so we can live our OWN life without people bothering me, but that’s way too much to expect and I would never ask someone to do that to their parents. So my question is, what should I do?

13 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Sit them down and talk it out. The mom sounds passive aggressive and the dad just sounds aggressive period. Your bf is blind to it bc he's not on the receiving end of their bullsh*t. If it doesn't end well then you might have to break up with him to keep your peace of mind. They sound like stressful overbearing people.

  • Raja
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You have to learn to tolerate them if you are to live with your bf.Or else rent out an apartment to live separately. He can still be in touch with his parents.If that is not practical and you find it difficult to stay with them best solution is to break up the affair because you will never be happy. 

  • Linda
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    Stop seeing your bf's parents so much. When he takes you out, have him pick you up at the door. Don't go in. If he invites you over, say you're busy. Tell him to have a talk with his parents and that they have hurt your feelings on one too many occasions and if they can't be nice your gf will not come around them. I hope they can change truly for both of your benefit.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I think how you want to live your life might be possible, but not with your current boyfriend.

    I am a male, and I am older than you. I am in my thirties.

    I think cutting ties isn't a good solution.

    I have some ideas of how I want to live my life. Currently I am working on it. I could isolate myself from civilization, and have a lot of privacy, but living like that is risky. Because I could lose my life! There is another upside of living like this, and that is I would never have to pay rent. Yes, there are downsides, for living like this, and I think the biggest one is losing a human life.

    Well I still have another idea. I suppose people might bother me. I just have to accept it. I probably will have more privacy than other folks even if I were to live with other people do to how I am planning to live my life.

    I think your boyfriend, and yourself still have to grow up.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    You really need to stop arguing with this guy about his parents. He already knows his parents are obnoxious. How couldn't he? They raised him. And there's nothing he can do about it. they are who they are

    And you're not dating his parents. If you get married you won't be married to his parents.

    I think you lack people skills. My in-laws were totally obnoxious... i just lived my life. And i didn't let their ignorance impact my life or wreck any of my days. I was always respectful and kind toward them. And i also giggled to myself that people could be so dumb. I have better things to do than worry about them. Don't you?

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    "I just know when we have kids or share finances that they might be too close for comfort "

    This is the most important thing you said.  It's hell on earth being married to a mama's boy, because these guys always put parents ahead of their spouse.   You're smart to pay attention, because a lot of people don't and they make the assumption things will improve with marriage.  It's the opposite, because the stakes get higher.  If they don't like the name you want to give your 1st child, you don't get to use that name.

    What complicates this a bit is your ages.  If your bf still lives at home and/or relies on them financially, he doesn't have the freedom to stand up to them that he'll have when he's fully on his own.  Even if he is on his own, he's still pretty young and might need a push from you. 

    Have you ever talked to him about this?   I don't mean arguing in the moment about a specific incident.  I mean a convo in general about how this makes you feel.  If not, at least try this before bailing.  One way to do this is put him in your position.   How would he feel if your mom/dad said or did something that his parents have done.  But the bottom line is  if you come in 2nd to his parents, your relationship has stalled and it won't advance until this gets resolved. 

  • Ana
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    Wow, so you want your boyfriend to permanently cut ties with his mom and dad for the next 50 years, and alienate yalls children from them, just because his dad was rude to you one day and you don’t like his moms sense of humor? (And, that’s only hearing your side of the story. His dad may have just tried getting to know you and asked a question that was a sensitive topic for you. Who knows.) 

    Regardless of what was said, you sound like a hateful evil person for wanting to alienate your husband from his family just bcuz you “don’t like them”. 

    NOTE: I’m not saying that you should “put up with bad behavior” from them. If they do something that bugs you, it’s fine for you to bring it up privately to your boyfriend and nicely ask him if he can please talk to his parents about that stuff.

    But you wanting to conspire to separate them permanently, is just really twisted and bizarre and unhealthy. 

    ===================

    I’m only 27 (and happily married) so I’m not like an old fart by any means, I don’t have kids yet so I’m not a parent either. But you sound like a major b^tch.

    “The best outcome would be for him to cut ties with his parents completely so we can live our own lives” what... the f*uck. Do you even hear yourself?

    How about he makes YOU stop talking to YOUR parents completely? How about that.

    You can “live your own lives” without you being evil and making him alienate his family. 

    I knew a girl who did what you did... it was actually mainly political. She was a huge liberal and she hated that his parents were conservative. Pretty sick if you ask me. People should be able to disagree about politics or lifestyles without wanting to destroy and harm them. 

    And fyi, my husband doesn’t have a good relationship with his parents. His dads an alcoholic and his moms kind of weird and aloof and hot/cold. But he doesn’t get all mad at me for being close to my parents. He absolutely could be jealous or take it out on me because his parents are like that, but he doesn’t. He respects me and he’s happy for me. And when my husband does spend time with his parents I support him and I’m nice to his parents. I may not always find them pleasant or “cool”, but I respect and love them because I love my husband and I know they’re important to him.

    For lack of a better term, you just sound like a very vindictive, grudge-holding, overreacting, bad person. And I sincerely hope one of two things happen: either 1) you adjust your attitude and mentality completely, or 2) that he realizes it’s in his best interest to break up with you and find a woman who’s worthy of marriage who won’t try to control him and destroy his family.

    • Ana
      Lv 5
      3 weeks agoReport

      Yeah then you should leave him then. If he’s unwilling to fix things then you should walk away bcuz the issue isn’t just his parents anymore... the issue is HIM. If he won’t stand up to them then HE is also the problem. You gotta move on 

  • 3 weeks ago

    get used to it---

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    You should break up with him. You cannot force him to cut ties with his parents because you don't get along with them. That's really mean and selfish. And for future reference, you can't expect every boyfriend's parents you don't like to go the same way. 

    You're also very young and naive. What you think is rude now won't be to you in 10 years. You can't control how people act around YOU, precious little princess. They aren't there to cater to YOU and YOUR feelings. As you mature, you'll know to just brush these things off, but seeing how you're quite immature now, you're acting as though his parents are specifically out to get YOU. Grow the hell up and dump him for his OWN good, not yours.

    EDIT- Happily married and have loved many of my exes' parents. So choke on that.

    • Tara3 weeks agoReport

      What your husbands parents “did to you” is nothing compared to my situation so shut the **** up and go on about your day. If you’re gonna sit on your *** and bother strangers online, then it looks like your the one with the sorry life, not me 

  • 3 weeks ago

    You should break up and find another bf.  Keep in mind, most men come with a set of parents.  Not all parents will be your favorite people in the whole world.  We have to learn to accept the family that comes along with the person we choose to be with or the relationship won't work.  There are not only parents involved in most cases, but siblings, cousins, etc.  A whole load of people with many different personalities. And if you did find the guy who would reject his family, remember he will reject you and your children one day too because that's how that type of guy rolls.

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