Any tips for helping 'me manage relapse patterns for my general situation (multiple and repeated)?
I'm divided, so you can ask me to play multiple roles for it.
Things aren't ok and I'm not functional much despite pulling through for the moment somehow. On any time scale, there are lots of issues that have accumulated, intensified and complexified at this points. There are abnormal intense ones in practically all aspects of me it seems.
A relevant simple pattern is that I've been extremely evasive and guarded since going back to a very intensely stressful/terrifying place for me, once again, for the summer. It's quite intense when I'm there for me.
I'm broken for my old self care, so when things got worse and worse in the last months (after moving here), I didn't match it with constant adrenaline and care to build resiliences. The evasiveness has been a bit too extreme and I get so momentarily scared of realities that it reroutes to stressfully forgetting in avoidance lots of things. That's a serious problem. It's a mix of lots of bad patterns I've had, and most aren't really helped now.
Irl without heavy preparations, I'm guarded in layers. It's absurdly less than before, but I couldn't really not be completely isolated in a personal sense. Not much 'personal' patterns could really be done *with others still (as opposed to *if they might exist near). I have very intense patterns to dissimulate anything from authorities (doctors etc) irl even still.
Sorry for poor English. You can propose complicated systems; I only mostly can't trust any stressful planning from me
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