Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 weeks ago

Dealing with a mentally disabled who is purposely abusive?

Hello,

I am living with a mentally disabled brother in law who happens to enjoy hitting my kids for laughter and getting creepy with my 1 year old daughter. He is some-what mentally disabled but can still comprehend like "normal" people, just that he cannot make out what he wants to say because he's slow. I've talked to him about the issues of hitting my children, especially him trying to get freaky with my daughter (as in grabbing her out of my arms/floor and kissing her harshly on the mouth, leaving saliva all over her face, he also pushed her to the floor and got on top of her to kiss her). 

It has gotten worse and more often since I've talked to him, his response was, "What did I do???" And smirked. He's even called me names afterwards too. I am done respecting him. He is taking advantage of his disability.  I've even talked to my spouse about it. We avoid him as much as we can, but I can only do so for so long. I cannot continue to hide my daughters in the room. The brother in law will not act willful in front of his parents, guardian, or my spouse, he only does so when only I am around. His parents also takes his side when I talked to them saying that he is "mentally disabled", if I dont like it, then to move out. They've turned a blind eye.

Do anyone have any suggestions for the time being until I can afford to move out?

9 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    He isn't taking advantage of his disability he just lacks proper instruction of how to care for children. You need to take the time to teach him what is proper and improper instead of assuming he already knows. Because he is slow you will have to show more patience for the longer learning curve, but if you can, things will change. BTW the parents haven't turned a blind eye, they are just better accustomed to his behavior and accept him as he is. That is an option for you as well.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    This will be harsh, but you need a wake up call.   First, stop with the mentally disabled stuff.  In today's world, this can mean almost anything, and it doesn't even matter whether something is wrong with him.   What matters is the damage being done to your kids.   This idiot SEXUALLY ASSAULTED your baby! You seem very calm about that.  A good mom would have done whatever it takes to make sure this never ever happened again.  This stuff escalates.  Are you waiting until he rapes her?  Do you understand it's very likely that permanent damage has been done? 

    Also, I could be wrong, but I got the impression  your spouse doesn't believe you when you tell him what this idiot is doing?   If so, this is a very big problem.  Have you considered leaving on your own?    To you, your BIL is an annoying jerk. To them, he's a monster and they are terrorized.  They can't express it but they need a mom who will do whatever it takes to fix this for them.  Your #1 job is to protect them.  If you can't or won't, that's sad beyond words and they will hate you one day.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    maybe you should kick him out if hes going to be like that

  • Linda
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    This mental person needs to live in a group home with others of his type and do not be guilted into having him in your home or he might hurt your child.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Tell him straight that if he does not stop you will speak to the Police about him.  If he does not believe that then tell him to come with you and you will go to speak to the Police with him right now!  Whether mentally disabled or not that does not preclude him from knowing what is not acceptable or not.  I think Police would be happy to tell him not to hit or kiss etc. your children ever again or if so they will visit him again.  That may be all that is required.  I would leave though, whether I could afford it or not.  It is his parents responsibility to deal with his behaviour so they don’t infringe on the rights of others.  If they are not prepared to intervene then they are making things very difficult for him in the end.  

  • 3 weeks ago

    Honestly they are right Move out. I wouldn't advise calling the cops because most likely they will kick you out . But what the dude is doing to your daughter is disgusting. Mentally disabled or not dude clearly knows how to learn to kiss and get on top of someone. he's understanding what you are saying he just doesn't care to listen . Or you can record him and show his dad The choice is yours . Good luck

  • David
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Kick him out of your house.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Maybe Pearl L. will answer because she  is mentally disabled and tries to answer 

    but her disability keeps her from making decent and correct and helpful answers.

    Everybody on Yahoo hates her and wishes she would get a job and go far away.

    She was raised by wolves in the forest and did not speak words until she was 12.

    She cannot spell or make  complete sentences or use any punctuation in her sentences. She is a total disable person.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Move immediately before he accidentally kills your daughter.

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