beth asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Is it wrong for me to expect a little?

I am engaged to this man for 5 years. He only has worked 2 of the years I have been engaged to him. He got into a car accident and was not severely disabled but could not work for 2 years. He lives with his mom, but purchased his own house that he is fixing up for us to live in when my son gets out of this school system in 4 years. He received a sum of money when his dad past away. I stay here so my son can have a great education. I rent my house monthly. I have a good job and go to college part time. I pay all my own bills, insurance, food, etc. He will help me out IF I ASK FOR IT. I pay for everything. I have one son at home. We go half on anything major or minor like food. Soooo to make a long story short...he received a settlement from his accident. A large one. He gave his mom $50,000.00 for all the loans over the year etc. He did not offer anything for me, so I did not ask. Finally, I told him a needed help on rent for a month. He gave me a LOAN and ask me when I can pay him back every few days. Am I being selfish here? 

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  • 1 month ago

    Yes. I had to read your question a few times because I was looking for the part about how you supported him somewhere in those 5 years, but I couldn't find it. You don't live together, you just date each other and split expenses like other long term relationship couples. I can't find any claim you may have on his windfall.

    But I also empathize with you. If the tables were turned would you give him your money? Probably not, but you might instead pop for the costs of a vacation, maybe begin picking up the dinner tab without your contribution more often, or maybe give an expensive gift at Christmas / Birthday. But the bottom line is that you don't really know until you are in that position.

    • beth1 month agoReport

      I would give him money. If the situation where reversed. I have given him money when he needed it. Not expecting a return

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    no, i think hes the one being selfish

  • 1 month ago

    Yes, frankly.  

    You go on an on about how you pay for everything - why is he obligated to help you when he gets money?  You are not yet married so your money I’d not joint money.  He is not obligated to pay your bills.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

       Not selfish but in my opinion foolish. I would drop him in a minute.  If he is

    that bad now just wait until you are married to him. Take my advice and later

    you will be glad you did.

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  • Linda
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    No, he is. Are you sure you want to be with him? I would probably break up with someone so selfish.

  • 1 month ago

    This guy is supposed to love you yet he expects the money back that he gave you for rent. You are not the one that is selfish, he is. You need to evaluate how strong this relationship is and how much this guy means to you and if you want to be married to him.

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