What should I do in this situation?
My friend has started dating my step brother. My father lives with his new wife and her son. But now whenever me and her argue the family get involved. Recently I found out she had lied about many things as I have 4 siblings. Each of them have now refused to do anything with my father. We all have kids also. All because it seems his wife has stirred arguments. Anyway my father has been telling me to block my own sister because we have argued with stepbrothers girlfriend. Shes been caught out in a few lies. My dad tried to say all sorts to make me get along with her but no matter what I said he would come up with a excuse. Even when I told him I have proof. The girlfriend has told us all previously that she saw her ex and beat him up. Little lies like that to make herself look better I guess. But because the girlfriend knows i spoke to my sister and that's how i found out the truth shes now got my father to tell me to block my sister. I've explained everything to him and he made excuses. Boyfriend told him.He went quiet then came up with other excuses. What should I actually do? I've lost my entire family all my other siblings because my father told me I must pick a side.Through my last pregnancy I was the centre of a argument which led to my mother telling me I was dead to her. No one is innoccent in this entire argument.dont want to choose a friend that lies over my sister. But my father seems he will cut contact with me if I dont choose the lying girl. I'd like advice
- PearlLv 73 weeks ago
i would just try to stay out of it
- FoofaLv 74 weeks ago
TBH until you got to the part about having kids this read like it was from a teenager. Sounds like everyone involved is too old to be carrying on like this. Just be Switzerland. Be polite to everyone and refuse to take sides. This isn't how adults are supposed to behave.
- linkus86Lv 74 weeks ago
I don't have a working crystal ball and neither do you. You don't know what your father will do in the future so stop making this false assumption. This habit leads people into unnecessary arguments all the time.
It takes two to tango. You can't fight with someone unless they other person wants to fight too. Thus if you don't want to have fights with people, especially those that come with dramatic ultimatums, you have the power to stop. How? Agree with the person. Think about it, you can't fight with someone who agrees with everything you say. You don't have to believe it, but if you make the other person believe it, the fight ends (or never begins).
Lastly, any friend that leads you to so much turmoil isn't someone you should have in your life. Distancing yourself from her is in your best interest.
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
You're an adult. No one can "make" you do or say anything. Quit talking with your father and his girlfriend. Continue to remain neutral. Maybe your siblings will talk to you if you actually tell them you cut ties with your father.
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- 4 weeks ago
make peace with your family. and support everyone's opinion. don't start a war. propose something fun to do with the entire family so you all move past this argument. if you succeed, you all will be laughing about this at thanksgiving.
- LetoLv 54 weeks ago
It was extremely difficult to follow that convoluted story, but if you want advice here it is. Your father has already chosen to believe and support his girlfriend. If he won't accept proof of her lies when presented with the evidence then it's useless to continue to try reasoning with him. Those who lie are unworthy of your time and attention. Family cannot and should not be cut completely from your life without the need to protect your safety or your mental health. However, you should take steps to limit your interactions with them. Live your life and handle your affairs with honesty and integrity and refuse to participate in their games of deception. That may mean fewer visits or phone calls. It may be painful to close them off because of their behavior. But you need to do what's best for you and your children. Staying out of this toxic environment would be top of the list. It may very well cause even more rifts in the family, but if you conduct yourself with honor and integrity, sooner or later, those who share those values will come around. Stay strong and hold to what you believe in. Best of luck!