Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 4 weeks ago

Is it bad to get insecure about other girls? my bf makes me feel this tho?

situation is, I always see him checking out other women especially the pretty ones. I read somewhere online that it's just normal for men. All of them do it. However, I still feel so uncomfortable about it. It feels a bit disrespectful to me. I'm not saying he should not look at other women, but it's just feels so weird that im right beside him and a pretty girl walks by or sits in front of us and he stares at her and even follow her with his eyes. It's annoying. Also, he mentions that he likes this youtuber girl and says she's so cute, he watches her all the time...not to sound shallow but im not jealous of the youtuber herself, but i feel weird because she's the type of person that any guy would want. She's vibrant and pretty and everything. I'm scared that when he meets a girl like her (especially we're going to uni soon) he'll eventually fall in love with that girl and leave me. Also, his past loves and crushes all have similar traits...like, all of them look like the girls guys would want, they're all pretty, slim, long haired and girly. But I'm kind of the opposite since im taller than most girls (and even guys), a bit chubby, a bit boyish, i always have my hair on ponytails and i rarely wear makeup (i actually feel prettier without makeup on). I'm also not a girl with a vibrant personality. I'm introverted and I'm usually very awkward around most people. idk what to do.

2 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    If you're uncomfortable with the guy's behavior, then he's not good enough for you. Sure, guys look but when they are out with their girl, they ought to attend to the girl and not stare at everyAss that walks by.

    I don't stick around with guys whose behavior i'm not happy with. Why do you?

  • Janet
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Don't blame your bf for your lack of self-esteem.

    Men check out ALL women. As long as ALL they do is just look, there should not be a problem. You feel uncomfortable because deep inside you are not convinced of your own self-worth, and there is this underlying fear that he will discover you are worthless and will eventually leave you for another women.

    This will end up wrecking your relationship is you don't get a handle on it. HE is responsible for remaining faithful to you, and you have no control over that. And trying to control it will drive him away.

    And YOU are responsible for facing and working with your own inner fears/pain instead of blaming him. If you don't do that you will end up driving him away.

    This is why relationships are THE hardest thing we will ever accomplish in life. And why only 12,5% of all marriages become companionable and happy after 20 years together.

    Make it a goal to learn to be open and honest with yourself about your emotions ... to take responsibility for how you react, and to learn to work with your emotions. That is the only way to make love work out.

    Own YOUR reactions of "feeling weird".

    And work on learning to accept yourself. No one is perfect. We all have physical and inner flaws ... and even our partner will too. We need to accept and approve of ourselves, and we do that by connecting with ourselves honestly and inwardly, and doing our best TO work on things while simultaneously accepting that we will never be perfect.

    And accepting that our partner will never be perfect.

    As for him going off .. you either lose him or your don't. It should not matter, because we NEVER end up any happier with someone long-term, than we were happy before we met them. YOUR focus should be on becoming happy with yourself, with your ability to make your life work for you (both inwardly and outwardly) without depending on someone to impossibly make you happy. The infatuation/honeymoon is only temporary.

    As for makeup, many guys PREFER a girl WITHOUT makeup. he is with YOU, so obviously there are things he LIKES about you.

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