Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 4 weeks ago

Do you like my poem so far? It is unfished so bear with me :) any opinions please?

Sitting in my room all alone

Wondering if you feel that way that I do

I can't pick up the phone 

It will just go straight to voicemail

Leave your name after the beep

What if you don't remember me

What if I become invisible

Two weeks can be an eternity

I need to hear your voice

And I need to be your only one

Can't close my tired, heavy eyes

Afraid you might forget who I am

So tried of endless goodbyes

I feel so lost and can't find my way back

Without the echo of your voice

I can feel myself slowly falling

But then you reach out your hand

And slowly I start moving

Like a lost ship to a light house

Safe in the beacon of your arms

1 Answer

  • martin
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    This poem has a good, strong finish with the lighthouse imagery. Sprinkle a little more of your unique metaphors into the first 3/4 of the poem.

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