Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

In love with two guys at the same time ?

I've been in love with 2 guys for most of my life.  My ex and I were together for over a year but have been friends for around 15. My husband and I met through my ex while we were engaged. I was in love with my ex. But the more I talked to his friend i found out his friend liked me and thought I was cute, and he would flirt with me. This caused problems for my fiance and I.  I enjoyed being flirted with and my guy wasnt doing it as much since we got engaged. I called it quits not because I wasn't in love with him anymore but because I was in love with them both.

  I ended up getting pregnant and because of it made to feel like I had to get married. It being the right thing to do and all.

  My husband and I have had a rocky relationship for a while now. I never could figure out what it was until recently.  I didn't want to admit that I might have been wrong. I love him and always will hes the father of my kids.  He wants us to stay married for the kids but I'm not sure that's a good reason.  My ex is torn he wants me to figure things out but doesn't want to see me lose my kids. He said he had been hoping we would get back together since we broke up but doesn't want to change not only our friendship now but theirs. I'm torn I really do love them both just in different ways.  Seeing this sweet side of my ex again, im getting to see the man I first feel in love with. Here lately I'm happy when I'm around my ex. How do I sort through these feelings without hurting one of them.  

1 Answer

  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    NEVER break a relationship JUST to be with the other person. That whole, grass is greener on the other side will stick with you. You don't know how truly compatible you are with your x and if it will even work out in the long run. What you need to figure out right now is if you want to stay with your husband and NEVER use your x as a reason.

    Pretend your x doesn't exist. Why did you marry your husband? Why do you love your husband? If you two went to marriage counseling, do you think it would help the situation? You cannot be emotionally attached to someone else while you're married to him. What you need to do is cut ties with the x and figure out if the marriage you're in is salvageable. NO Distractions! Put your husband first, go to couples counseling and try to make it work. If it does, leave the x out of it. He's causing problems because you aren't focused on your relationship with your husband because you're emotionally looking at someone else. That isn't fair to the marriage YOU went into when you said till death do you part. Not, till death do you part, but only until I've decided I want to get back with my x. You promised your husband you would stick it out till thick and thin. TRY and make it work. If it doesn't work out, at least you can say you've honestly gave it your all and it failed due to NO OTHER reason than you and your husband just couldn't make it work.

    Then if it doesn't, its up to you if you want to get back with the x. Look at it this way, what would you do if  you left the marriage, torn your kids lives apart because now you have a split house hold and you have to deal with their emotional baggage... started dating your ex and then you realize youve either, made a big mistake and want your husband back (but he isn't going to take you back after you've up and left him for someone else) or your relationship with your x doesn't work out.

    Being happy around someone is temporary because things are copacetic. Wait until you have an argument, then it will feel different. ALL relationships take work. You will fight, you will disagree, you will find something that irritates you about something they do, some little quirk they have... it will all show up eventually... focus on the marriage, see what happens...

    • KittenLittle
      Lv 5
      1 month agoReport

      Again, you need therapy/counseling. Not excuses to leave your husband so you can be with someone else.

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