My wife slapped my daughter?

I'm a white American man with a wife and 4 kids (they are 27, 24, 18 and 14, respectively) . My wife recently lost her mother. We were at the funeral today. My 14-year-old daughter (the youngest) didn't seem to care about it as she was playing Modern Combat 5 on her phone. My wife told her to put her phone away but she ignored it. 

About 10 minutes later, she noticed my daughter was still playing on her phone. In front of everybody, she grabbed my daughter's phone and smashed it. My daughter called her a b*tch for taking her phone while she was in the middle of the game. Furthermore, she told my wife to go f*** herself because she smashed her phone. My wife lost her temper and slapped her across the face as hard as she could. My daughter began to cry and I went to comfort her. My other kids went to calm my wife down.

When we got home, my wife made dinner for everyone but my daughter. I decided to take her out for dinner because she was hungry. In addition, she could have a "break" from my wife. I had a talk with her and she said my wife was out of order hitting her and she'll never forgive her. 

What should I do now?  

74 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    It was probably out of order to hit her but surely she should be given a little bit of slack since she was attending her parents funeral? Maybe her emotions got the better of her? Your daughter was rude to continue playing on a phone at something like that

  • 1 month ago

    All you can do right now is just calm them both down and try to get them to talk to each other.

    It is true that your daughter was out of line, and I am not referring to the language she used. It's more about how insensitive she was to your wife's loss. Why would she play a game at a funeral when the person who has passed was really close to a family member? And after being told by the family member to not do it, why would she continue doing it anyway? I mean, it kinda sounds like she hates your wife.

    On the other hand, your wife was also out of line, slapping a 14-year-old girl (not a child anymore) like that. It's understandable that she's had a loss. But that's not exactly the best call she took. Bring this up at a later stage though because right now she'd be too vulnerable and if you say this, you will come off as insensitive.

    To conclude, just get them to speak and individually tell them how they were both wrong and right at the same time.

  • 1 month ago

    This is a sad story, if true - it shows your daughter to be very spoiled and it looks like you should have disciplined her better when she was younger.

    If that self centered spoiled brat was my daughter, I would may not have slapped her because she might get hurt real bad as I'm strong and muscular.  But I would not have replaced the phone until she is 18 and perhaps also grounded her. I mean your wife loved your daughter and this was the way your daughter returned it? By calling her mother a b*tch and telling her to go f**k herself? Who acts that way?

    However, your wife went overboard too. I mean she can't just go around and slap people just because they didn't want to do as she wanted them to. Your daughter might not want to see her grandmother being buried so playing games on her phone was a good way to move the attention away from the funeral. She is 14 so I can understand her.

    They were both wrong and should apologize to each other.

    • latf4 weeks agoReport

      Still, even if the wife was not the mother, this daughter is out of order. not the wife.

  • 1 month ago

    Call the FBI 

    FBI open up

    Source(s): Definitely not an FBI agent
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  • 1 month ago

    your daughter has been a complete and utter brat

    • latf4 weeks agoReport

      and still this guy does not realize it, he keeps asking whether the wife was out of order. 

  • sophia
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    I'm sorry but you daughter had that coming all day. However maybe its not all the way her fault that she didn't know appropriate behavior at a funeral. Where is her compassion for her step mom anyway? One time my son's step mom slapped my son. While i agree there are better ways of handling a situation, I had to let it slide because she only did it the one time in the 10 years she helped parent my son. So how many times has your wife slapped your daughter and why did you baby her when she was clearly disrespectful to your wife? Stand by your wife or you're going to lose her.  Were I your wife, I would have slapped you next but I'm just feeling a little violent right now. You damn sure would be cut off from the nah nah for at least a month. Remember, even though she didn't give birth to your children she is stepping up to help you rear them. The least you could do is take her side. Especially because she is clearly hurting from her loss. Stop feeling guilty about the divorce and teach your bratty adolescent some manners!!! (By the way you get no extra points for being white my friend)

    • Jack1 month agoReport

      Rallo, nowhere in the story says the wife is not the daughter's mother.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    First and foremost, your race and nationality have nothing to do with anything. When you married your wife, it wasn't just to be a companion, it was to be a parent to your kids as well. Your CHILD was told to do something by a PARENT, and refused. The parent was ignored due to the fact that your kid stayed on her phone, so the phone was removed from the equation. Since the phone wasn't purchased by your 14 year-old, it was actually your phone, so no big loss. The child was then extremely out of line with her language and attitude. Your wife fixed that as well. I find it hard to believe that your wife cooked for everyone but your daughter. I'm not buying that. This sounds like your daughter copped an attitude and refused to eat. The worst part about this is your response. You didn't support your wife, the step-parent of your kid, you took your disrespectful brat daughter out to eat, and allowed her to talk bad about your wife. You directly undermined any authority she may have had. 

    What do you do? Support your wife, and do a better job raising and disciplining your daughter. 

    Edit: Rallo, quit whining. Which is more likely the truth? The wife made JUST enough food for the rest of the family, and excluded one kid, or the girl copped another attitude, as teens do, and decided not to eat? C'mon, man, use some common sense. 

    Edit #2: The wife breaking the phone that she bought is her prerogative. The child didn't own it, she simply had possession of it. Had the daughter did what she was told, and kept her mouth shut, mom wouldn't have to shut it for her. She simply reaped the consequences of her own actions. 

    • Rallo1 month agoReport

      Im sick of people denying things that are likely facts. He said she didn’t make dinner for the 14 year old. So, she didn’t make dinner for the 14 year old. End of story and don’t even question it. 

  • 1 month ago

    I definitely would have smashed the phone and I think your poor wife was so distraught she smacker her daughter. While, many mothers probably would have had to hold ourselves back. I can understand the frustration. Shoot. If that was my daughter she would be cleaning toilets, floors and drains with a toothbrush until she earned enough funds to buy herself a phone. WOW. What a disrespectful daughter you have...

    • ron h
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Chae-wan, yeah, Yes,  blame the disrespectful 14 year old.

  • YKhan
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I can understand your wife's frustration, it was an obvious case of disrespect by your daughter. I mean her own grandmother died, and she can't be bothered to put her game away?

  • 1 month ago

    Wow, that's an unbelievable story! Well no matter what, as much as I believe in discipline and correcting your kids, slapping in the face is NEVER allowed, encouraged or legal. What we now have is a child who may never trust her mom again and a relationship between the two of them that may be forever broken. 

    • Rallo1 month agoReport

      Jackie D, she is also old enough to realize that she is a victim of a physical attack. She is also young to get CPS involved and seek child abuse charges against her assailant. 

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