Acceptable punishment for lying 4 year old?

At bed time last night, my four, almost five, year old asked me if we could go play at the mall the next day. I told her that if she doesn’t get out of bed because she already went potty, that we’d go. Sure enough, twenty minutes after bed time, she comes in and asks to go potty. She obviously didn’t actually go because she just does this to not have to go to bed.

I’m wondering if it’s ok to follow through with not taking her to the mall because she lied about having to go potty or if she’s too young to understand that.

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  • Jill
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Not only is it okay not to take her to the mall it would be a massive parenting fail if you did. She's not too young to understand what you said. She is testing your resolve even though she might not realize that's what she's doing. Who is the boss is your home? If you don't follow through she will learn that she can manipulate you and you will pay for that in the long run.

    Source(s): Parent
  • Suzy Q
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Of course she is old enough to understand actions and consequences. She's not a small toddler, in spite of you talking about her as if she is.

    However this was a stupid condition to set, and you have absolutely no proof that she lied. Haven't you ever gone to the toilet, spent 5 more minutes getting ready to leave the house, and then gone to pee again? I certainly have, and I have an adult bladder. Maybe she went like she said and accidentally failed to completely empty her bladder. Maybe her bladder just quickly filled up again. Maybe you unknowingly gave her something to eat or drink that acts like a diuretic.

    If you wanted to make sure she used the toilet before bed, you should have checked. Failing that, you have no way of knowing she lied, only assumptions. 

    And seriously, what's with the baby talk? Why does she have to 'ask to go potty' instead of just going to the toilet?

  • 1 month ago

    Exile them to Siberia.

  • 1 month ago

    I don't think she would understand. That's pretty harsh for a little white lie anyway.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You're wanting to punish a 4/5 year old for a basic, natural need to urinate??????? **** you...

  • 1 month ago

    Of course it is.. you don't want to teach her that actions have no consequences & that she can still get what she wants even if you tell her she won't if she doesn't listen.

  • 1 month ago

    I think a compromise might be in order. Since the rule was new, she may not have truly understood the cause and effect relationship. What I would do, is to sit her down and have a discussion (not a lecture), asking her if she understood the rule and her part in obeying it. Once you feel she understands, I would give her a one-time pass on this, stressing that next time she will be punished. If you get the feeling that it is all over her head, maybe it's just too soon.

  • 1 month ago

    I'm not sure how her needing to go twenty minutes later means she lied.  It's entirely normal to need to go to the bathroom again, even if it's only been a few minutes.   I'm also lost as to why a 4-year-old has to ASK to go to the bathroom.  Does she not have free access to a toilet?  By 4, a child should be able to simply get up and go to the bathroom, no need to ask.   Telling her she can't get out of bed past bedtime makes no logical sense. 

  • 1 month ago

    Eh see I’m torn.. my 4 year old does this but she’s behind in learning.

    Does this frequent peeing happen during the day? Could she have a fear of the dark or being alone?

    • Tri-Harder
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      So she gets back up and goes to the bathroom.  It isn't even remotely a big deal, or something to battle over. Move bedtime a little earlier if it's impacting her moods to be up another twenty minutes in order to pee. 

  • audrey
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    She's old enough to understand it.

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