Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 weeks ago

Am I overreacting?

I hate my birthday. I ve always hated it since I was 16. Reason being my family never put much effort into it. It was like my birthday didn t matter to them but I would bust my behind to make their birthdays as special as possible. Like brunch at their favorite resturants, spa days, etc. But then if it was my birthday I am lucky to have a single card. This year my mother announce she was going to take me to this dine-in theatre that I have not had time to go too. She kept reminding me of it every weekend and I was starting to get my hopes up. Until she cancelled again like every year before. Her reasoning? She wanted to send out these promotional letters for work. Of course it hurts like always but I brush it off and told her I was going without her. She immediately complained saying I could atleast wait for her to be available. "We can go 2 weeks from now or something." That s not commitment at all. I told her I wanted to do something for my birthday since I always make sure everyone else does something for their birthday. Her response? I was being a baby. But since it was so important we can go. I told her nevermind. I don t want to be an after thought or a last resort. I put everything into making sure everyone else have a good time for their birthdays and have been for years but for me? It s never a thought. Am I over reacting?

3 Answers

  • 3 weeks ago

    i understand that it's disappointing to do things for others who can't or won't reciprocate. you can't change anyone else, but i'd suggest looking at your own expectations. if you do special things for anyone expecting them to do the same, then it's really not love. if you decide that you can't do these birthday events for your family cheerfully, you should stop. do something special on your birthday by yourself if that works for you. and if your family realizes that a birthday passed without you mentioning it (yours or someone else's), and they don't say anything. you have your answer. if they do ask, you can tell them you were doing things expecting them to reciprocate. since they weren't, you decided you didn't want to anymore and stopped, and let them respond. you may not like how they respond, but either way you'll learn from it.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Stop putting any effort into their birthdays. You're the fool for going all out knowing full well they're the type who don't celebrate or do special things.

    I don't think you're overreacting, but I do think you're expecting too much from people you know are not into big celebrations.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Same thing with me. I've been alone on my birthday for years and barely a card through the door. It gets normal to hate birthdays as you get older. It's just another reminder we're getting closer and closer to the coffin.

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