Am I bisexual?

Ok so I’m an 18 year old female. I have identified as straight my whole life. When I was younger I’ve always had crushes on boys and never girl’s and that had carried onto my teen years. But when it comes to porn I watch lesbian porn. I just find opposite sex porn demeaning. Up until a month ago I never questioned my sexuality.Basically the only reason I’m “questioning” it is because I was in a situationship a few months back and tried to have sex with him TWICE and couldn’t do it and cried.I could never go past him going down on me and fingering me. I never could work up the courage to go down on him.

I want to have a relationship with a male and have sex with a male when the time comes, but I don’t know why my mind keeps saying “well maybe you’re gay”. It’s gotten to the point where I have thought about if maybe I’ve acted gay in the past or if the girls I really wanted to be friends with in middle school I actually had crushes on. It has also gotten to the point where I check to see if I’m sexually aroused by another female. At this moment I don’t want to explore with the same sex. I could never imagine going down on a girl. When I think of my future and getting married and having kids it is with a man. Right now I just couldn’t see myself being gay and being in a relationship or having sex with a woman.I don’t know if this is me denying my sexuality or me just overthinking which I do A LOT. Clearly I need some advice lol.

 

6 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    You just described my coming out journey lol! My entire life I had always thought that I was completely straight, because I had ALWAYS had crushes on boys. I always saw myself marrying a man. However when I was in my junior year of high school (I'm now a freshman in college), I started feeling "a certain type of way" about this girl in one of my classes. I wanted to be her friend SO bad and I would often catch myself looking her way. Whenever I would see her, I would get really nervous (the same way I felt when I saw an attractive guy). At the time I had no idea what these feelings meant. But after thinking about it, I knew internally that I liked her but I wouldn't let myself believe/accept it. After the class ended, I completely ignored my feelings for the girl. I dealt with internalized homophobia for about 8 months until one of my closest friends came out as bi. I started watching videos to educate myself on bisexuality and I compared what was said to how I felt about the girl that I had liked. It was then that I realized I was also bi! At the beginning, I was very confused because I could never see myself being intimate with a girl (only having a relationship with one). Let me tell you, things have changed A LOT! Since then, I've realized that I would want to experience sex with a girl and I've fully accepted myself for who I am. I would say that you just need to give yourself TIME! It took me about 10 months to realize that I was bi and to finally accept myself. Good luck and I hope this helps :)

  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You are a teenager who is questioning your inner most feelings. Most teens do. Call the gay center and talk to the counselor. You need to accept the feelings which are o confusing. Stop worrying right now. Have fun. Don't get involved in sexual activity until you are sure.

  • 3 weeks ago

    You are a good and decent heterosexual girl.

    It doesn't matter what sort of entertainment you watch.

  • 3 weeks ago

    same sis likekjewghurjeiog9hporjoiFSJLFIWAIFJOLN

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  • 3 weeks ago

    So you watch lesbian porn. That doesn't mean anything. And you find it hard to have sex with a guy ? That doesn't mean anything either. You just aren't ready to decide which one (or both) is best for you. You have lots of time because your body changes slowly to adjust to your decision.

  • 3 weeks ago

    I think it's best if you don't identify with anything imo, but it sounds like you could be bi, but leads more towards men or a lesbian in denial. Only time will tell

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