Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 4 weeks ago

Why cant I have a nice connection for a relationship?

I have had only 2 relationships in my life. The first one began in 2006. The second began in 2012. The one from 2012, we have had our on and offs when were needed. However, it would really be on her part. She just wanted to be friends, does not want a relationship now, or something about her sister or parents being upset with me over something I think is not that big of a deal. I am still just friends with her to this day. Glad that she is my friend. But I know we won’t be back in a relationship any time soon. I want to have a relationship with some girl though.

I have tried a few times at least, to have a new relationship with girls around but no older than my age. I met one girl who we seemed to have something but she turned out to be a total ***** towards me. Others have said they did not feel a connection to me, despite having a nice date. I have met them on places like Facebook, Tinder, and PoF.

So, what am I doing wrong? Or is it me at all? I am a very nice guy. I love to make jokes. Down to earth. No children. I love going out doing fun stuff. Watching movies. I have a full-time job. I have a vehicle.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.

1 Answer

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    No, it's not you. The best thing I can tell you is to keep trying.

    First of all, the first from 2012 sounds like she's just trying to make excuses. I can tell you in any relationship I've been in, their parents being upset with me over something has not impeded our relationship. When the time comes, all of us will sit down and talk it out. But until then, we'll keep dating.

    It's not always having everything. When you meet with a girl, are you interested in her? Do you ask questions and get to know her? Do you talk about a wide variety of things, keep conversation flowing? Are you polite? I know this sounds like a bunch of things, and it's not always you I'll admit that. But first, let's figure that out.

    Women want to be heard. They want to know you're interested. They LOVE humor and men who are kind. Not just to them, but to those around the two of you. Waiters, cashiers, store staff. Are you treating them with basic human decency as well?

    When you go out on dates, are you sure not to talk about how much it's costing you, how you EXPECT for them to chip in? I mean, it can be discussed but gauge your audience. Ensure this is the right crowd to be talking about that with. And do you mention how much you make or money you have saved up a million times? I know it sounds stupid, but there are a lot of women who find this annoying.

    Now on to the women. Are you sure you're picking the right ones? How can you tell? I know, it can feel impossible. When you're talking to these women, before you ask them out, really make sure you guys have similar interests. If you can't agree on a restaurant at all, the date will likely not be great. Make sure you guys seem compatible.

    Can you guys keep a conversation going - either online or through text - for longer than 20 minutes? No? Move on. Yes? See where it goes. Just make sure that there is a connection with the women you're actually asking out. A lot of people will ask someone out, when their communication during the day by other means is lacking. Then they can't figure out why conversation was often stunted and stale.

    It's least likely you. It's like just not picking the right people.

    Keep your head up, you'll find someone.

    Just stray away from ms. 2012. She seems loaded with excuses and no intention.

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