Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 1 month ago

Boyfriends mom pushing for abortion ?

I’m really stuck. My boyfriend is 17 and I just turned 19 yesterday and we just found about 2 weeks ago that I am pregnant. My family was upset at first but they got over it and they are actually really excited and said they will help us out any way that they can. I have a job and stuff already. Financially there is nothing to worry about with the love and support of my family. My boyfriends mom spent about an hour telling me that I need to get an abortion because I’m a child. I know that my boyfriend is on the younger side and all but I just feel like I’m being forced into doing something I don’t want to do. My boyfriend wants to keep it. We both agreed to step up and work really hard to support our child. I don’t agree with abortion and I don’t feel that I can mentally handle it. I don’t think I would ever be the same person. I’ve already had a miscarriage before and I was absolutely devastated for the longest time. She is offering to take me and pay for it because she says my boyfriend is not ready. I understand that completely due to his age but I feel like it’s not up to him or her to decide. His family just keeps pushing abortion down my throat but that really is not what I want. But it’s ALL about my boyfriend and his family. My boyfriend cried when his mom started talking to us about abortion because that’s not what he wants either. I need advice on how to handle this. It’s my body. Please don’t comment hateful things. 

Update:

My boyfriends mom texted my boyfriend last night saying that his stepdad is threatening to leave if we have that baby. Also that she hasn’t slept or ate in 2 days and that it’s effecting their whole family. His sister has been texting telling me she hopes I do the right thing which is abortion and that if I cared about her brother I would do it! I’m so sick of this. I know deep down mentally I’d I have this abortion I won’t be able to handle it. 

Update 2:

She also is trying to contact my mom to try and get her to persuade me to get an abortion. My mom said she’s not talking to her because she’s being crazy right now. I never once asked them for help and they told my boyfriend they were shutting off his phone and taking it because of me being pregnant. Nobody else in my life is worried about this but his family. 

32 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Do you want an abortion? It’s your choice. If you don’t, focus on the sh it storm coming your way, you’re going to have to be tougher than ever for longer than you’ve ever.

  • 1 month ago

    For a couple of years do not speak with her but before the child is a kid (3-8) introduce them to their grandma, if she's rational she'll see she dun fuked uup

  • Helen
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Don't take it personally. She's thinking only of her son in this situation. 

  • 1 month ago

    you have to sit down with your bf n his mum../parents....n let her know in no uncertain terms will you be getting an abortion n for her to STOP shoving it down your throat* IT IS NOT HAPPENING¬! YOU ARE having this child..n if she can't accept this, then that's sad for her..as you will be having this child with or without her blessing but for her to STOP saying this to you¬! It takes 2 to make a baby...n if ur bf wants the child even at 17yrs of age, n is supporting the idea of having a child...HE NEEDS to tell his mum to back off!!! Im glad u'll have support from your family/friends..it is NOT easy to raise a child..n financially with diapers, formula, clothes etc* it's quite costly so work work work as much as you can before you'll be unable to work as the due date gets closer...save save save¬!* (ur bf is living with his parents still, they may kick him out? have u thought about that if ur still living with your parents??)

    but to handle this properly, definately sit with ur b/f n his mum n tell her to STOP pushing abortion on you, or u will not be coming around anymore, u dont want or need the negativity or stress everytime ur near her....u want a happy healthy baby ¬ Best of luck*

    • Bella1 month agoReport

      Oops sorry didn’t mean to comment that under your response!

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This is very, very simple. BF needs to tell his mom that the subject of abortion is off limits. And if she doesn't respect that boundary, that you and he will end the conversation by hanging up or leaving. And then you follow-through. Every. Single. Time.

    This is what happens when teenagers decide to become parents. It becomes obvious very quickly that neither of you have the maturity or life experience to handle even the most basic of situations such as setting appropriate boundaries with family. Although it's probably hard for your bf to put his mother in her place because he knows he's a child who depends on mummy to pay his way in life. Fun times.

    ETA:   Yet another dumb comment from Jerry.   Obviously I'm not a child.   And by the time this baby is born, neither of his/her parents will be children either.   When one makes the very adult decision to have children, it is reasonable to take on the adult responsibilities that go along with that which includes advocating for one's partner/child.   Mummy (grandma) really doesn't get a say in someone else's reproduction choice.  She's said her piece multiple times and it's time for someone to (politely) tell her to zip it.

    • Jerry
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      "Boyfriend" is a child. Are you a child yourself that imagine he can act so imperiously with his mother? "Hard" is quite the understatement there.

  • 1 month ago

    If your boyfriend wants to keep the baby as well and is committed to supporting you and raising the child, then his family's opinion shouldn't matter. It's not their life, it's not their choice. You might have to firmly tell them off, possibly several times. Good luck.

  • GB
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    She is telling you that you are a child. In truth, she is doing what she is too protect her child from responsibility, that he is willing to take. You already have a good idea, of how you will feel, having already experienced a miscarriage. I am guessing the previous pregnancy wasn't planned and if the father was your present boyfriend, his mom probably saw it as 'A blessing in disguise.'

    If you have the abortion against your will, you will regret it. You might start to hate yourself, knowing the baby would have been born into a loving home. If possible, keep away from your boyfriend's family until your baby is born, even if it means you can't see your bf. They sound like the sort of people who might kidnap you, and take you to a clinic.

    • Edna
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      The boyfriend's parents can't "kidnap" a 19-year-old grown woman & take her to a clinic and force her to have an abortion that she doesn't want to have. They CAN forbid their 17-year-old minor son from talking to her or having anything to do with her.

  • 1 month ago

    Well, yes, your boyfriend IS young, too young to contribute anything much to the support of this child. (Why didn't the two of you use birth control?) His mother doesn't want him tied down by this relationship or his responsibility for this child. Nevertheless, it is his child, so he'll have to help support it for the next 18 years. Let HIM tell his mother that you both want this child and that you won't be getting an abortion. Standing up to his mother is one of his new responsibilities as an adult and father-to-be. His mother will probably change her mind once she sees the baby.

  • 1 month ago

    That's what happen when you have sex outside marriage.

    You are not a child anymore you are a mom to be the decision is yours only.

  • 1 month ago

    It seems you have made you and your boyfriend have mutally made the decision to keep the baby and to raise it, so then what's the issue here? This is your and your boyfriend's child, you both (and yes you better believe he has a say in this!) want to raise it, your boyfriend's mother does NOT get a vote here.

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