Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 weeks ago

Is it wrong to keep my children away from their grandmother?

My mother is a great grandmother to my children and my wife but still treats me like a little kids and  is rude and disrespects me. For example, she had the tendency to slap my face whenever I am persistent about something she disagrees with. 

This was always an issue and nothing new but she recently slapped me in front of my 4y.o. who recognized something was off and asked my wife abt it.

We have had dozens of conversations about boundaries and behavior and she always swears that she'll do better. Nothing changes. I'm trying to set boundaries with consequences but I feel guilty using the kids as punishment but that's the only thing that seems to work with her.

6 Answers

Relevance
  • 4 weeks ago
    Best Answer

    That's tough. On the one hand, kids benefit from having as many people as possible who love them, especially grandparents. On the other hand, you're right that she shouldn't be doing this in front of your children. If she can't understand that, then you may have to set some rules. If you trust her with your children, then you might want to arrange visits where you are not there. Use the threat of not seeing you as the punishment, not your children.

  • 4 weeks ago

    100% wrong-

    You never bring children into adult business, period! You can have all the issues in the world with your mother (and vice versa), but this is an issue between you guys, the children are innocent in all this, they shouldn't have to be around that toxicity nor should they have to choose sides.

    If you want to stop your Mom from slapping you, there's a very easy way, call the cops and report her for assault, let her *** sit in jail for a few hours, she will eventually get the message that assault is NOT the answer to conflict resolution.

    Leave the kids out of it.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Every adult child has to be direct about their relationship with their parent.

    REFUSE to accept her slapping you!!! Stand up, tell her off and walk out of the house the next time!!!! that's ridiculous!!!

    And since this has been something you've been working on and she's still not getting it, tell her directly, she's not seeing the grandkids until she figures out youre not kids anymore and you're not accepting that behavior from her anymore!!!!!

  • 4 weeks ago

    i dont think so, not if shes hitting you, and i wouldnt be around her either

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 4 weeks ago

    Absolutely. My parents did this to me and it hurt me horribly. Never use your kids as weapons against a family member no matter what that family member has done. Your mother is not a pedophile or a child killer so the kids ABSOLUTELY need to have her in their lives. For a period of my childhood my parents robbed me of something very precious and it has hurt me even many years later at age 38.

    I am sorry for what your mother is doing and not saying she is right to act this way, but you noted she is wonderful to the grandchildren and thus it would be robbing them of a precious part of their childhood. Please do not prevent the grandchildren from seeing their grandmother regardless of what she acts like to you. Be the better person and put the kids first.

    Good luck to you.

  • Sal*UK
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    I'd do it simply because if one of your kids disagreed with her, would she hit them??

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.