What’s the deal with this girl ? ?
Ok so my husband has these bunch of friends and their wives , we hang out but there is one couple I mean the guy looks fine but the girl remains so aloof and distant , like she is forced to be there. We all ladies hang out and she refuses to join us and stays with her husband , first I thought she is shy but then his husband once said to us that it’s impossible for him now to hang out with us. I sent her follow requests on social media to get to know her but she didn’t respond at all. I really wanted to be friends with her but now it’s really frustrating me especially her attitude. What is all this ?
- LindaLv 54 weeks ago
Maybe she has social anxiety and does better one on one with people. She probably feels insecure. Maybe she should stay home if she doesn't feel like talking much. Some people are great people but due to anxiety in groups or being introverted they cannot be themselves in a group. Maybe invite her just one on one to get to know her and it might get easier for her.
- historyLv 71 month ago
Not everyone wants to hang out with bunches of friends and their wives. Even if they are all fine and friendly people. Some folks just aren't "bunches" kind of socializers. Since the only person she knows in this bunch is her husband, it makes a lot of sense that she'd stick near him. Lots of women don't think that's weird at all.
This is why "bunches" work, or don't. Because we have different socializing styles. We have a "bunch" we hang with 2-3x's a month (for the rest it's about a 2-3x's a week) and that's enough for us. It's not an "attitude". It's enough. We know other people too.
It is rare, in the "bunches" we hang with, to ever find all the gals in one room and all the guys in the other. It can happen, but it's rare. Last time all the wives realized we were in the kitchen drinking wine... we had a good laugh and went back in to socialize with the boys too. We all speak to each other and choose how to conduct ourselves. Outside of everyone in the "bunch" in agreement we're all on the same team, we all act like individuals. There's a gal in the group who has choked out but 20 sentences of conversation my way in 10 years. I don't care. She doesn't care. It doesn't matter to either of us at all. Still on the same team though.
- ZLv 51 month ago
It means you haven't yet learned how to respect boundaries. Why do you feel the need to make her socialize with you? No one has to be friendly with you or be part of your social group if they don't want to. You should be contented with the friends that you already have without feeling the need to make everyone fawn all over you or toe the line. It doesn't matter what her reasons are (whether be it social anxiety or total disdain for your social group), that is not your concern; what matters is that you respect her and her husband's choices and let it go. If a thousand people like you, there is bound to be one who doesn't. That is life. Learning to accept this and letting everyone be free to be and act the way they want is the key to happiness and freedom from worry.
- kristyLv 61 month ago
I guess she doesn’t like you.
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- choko_canyonLv 71 month ago
How exactly would we know what the deal is with her if you don't, when you've actually met her and we're random strangers on the internet? Please explain your logic.
- No MercyLv 71 month ago
she does not like u, what is here so strange. u mean u expect all people to like u? maybe u talk about things which deeply, deeply, deeply do not interest her and are unpleasant to hear and she doesn\t care to make an effort. I mean why should she. we should make an effort to hang out with unpleasant people at a place we work, or with our in laws, why should we suffer outside of that?
- mokrieLv 71 month ago
She could be jealous. Or she's possessive of his time. Let it go and just enjoy the other ladies. Let her do her own thing.
- JanetLv 71 month ago
You will have to ask HER. We aren't mind readers, and neither are you.
To all appearances, she seems to just not like you.
OR your first idea could be accurate ... that she is just painfully painfully shy.