Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

If you are scared of how you feel for someone is it okay to keep contact to a minimal/ghost them?

I spoke to my college sweetheart who I last spoke to 25 years ago. I know how I feel about him but don't think he feels the same way despite him saying he has a big smile om his face since talking to me. Is it okay to just leave this alone. My head is in a mess already over this guy and we've only spoken for one day. Bad sign right?

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  • 1 month ago
    Best Answer

    I'm quite a different woman now than I was 25 years ago. I imagine you are as well. It is a life goal.. to continue to grow, change, experience, learn, develop, mature in perceptions and understandings. I'd certainly hope that your college sweet heart is a different man today than he was 25 years ago.

    That said, maybe part of that heart fluttering and head messing is the flirtation of the time machine and the laughable promise that either of you could be who you were back then but make different choices. Keep in mind that people DO change in real life. And, often, they change a great deal. But it is fun to entertain the time machine! Briefly.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    "I know how I feel about him"

    No, you don't. I fully get the temptation to think this, but what you're feeling is much more complex than him. You're going back to a simpler and maybe much more fun time in your life where stress was minimal and you looked forward to waking up every single day.

    Meanwhile, a quarter century has gone by, and neither of you are the same people. You've both been changed by becoming an adult and the adult experiences you've had.

    Don't ghost him, because that's almost always unfair and immature. Instead, just start distancing yourself by taking longer to respond and keeping answers short If this doesn't work, come up with a harmless white lie. You never said if you're married or not, but the lie would depend on that.

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Yes, a bad sign. The person you just

    spoke to is not the same person you

    knew a QUARTER CENTURY AGO.

    Time to grow up.

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