Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 month ago

Is it normal to be upset that you werent asked to be in your friend's bridal party for her wedding when?

she was the maid of honor in your own wedding less than a year ago?

She had a BP of 7 people, 1 being her sister and 6 friends, and I was not asked.

She also didnt ask me to be involved or anything.

I feel our friendship is very one sided.

12 Answers

  • john
    Lv 4
    1 month ago
    Best Answer

    I think I'd be a little hurt too. What's not clear to me is this: is this a friend you see regularly? Did she invite you to the wedding? Perhaps your gut is telling you something.

    What to do? Go out and make new friends plus cultivate the other friendships you have. Read a good self-help book on how to make friends and how to be a good friend. [These books help everybody, even those already skilled at making friends]. There are great books out there about cultivating charisma.

    Go ahead and feel the hurt but then put it behind you and move on. Put your energy towards your other friendships.

  • 1 month ago

    How did you get the information about her Bridal Party? If you found out from her what did she tell you about your not being in the wedding? It wouldn't hurt to have a conversation about this with her...or find out from a friend. Good Luck and I Hope she changes her mind.

  • 1 month ago

    Who knows why she didn t invite you...but consider yourself rather lucky, perhaps? it is expensive ! time consuming ! You end up paying for a dress you ll probably never wear again, that you hate. You have to participate in rehearsals , give a gift, travel to the venue which may or may not be close by, pay for a place to stay if it isn t near, and more. If you feel your friendship is one sided, let it be for awhile and see what happens. There are other friends to be had, right? Good wishes,

  • 1 month ago

    There's no rule that if she was your bridesmaid, you have to be one of hers.

    Perhaps your friendship isn't as close as you thought.

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  • 1 month ago

    You can feel however you want to feel about it. However, there is no polite way to confront her about this since she is allowed to choose whomever she wants.

    She’s not obligated to ask you to be in her wedding, even if She was in yours, even if you consider her to be your best friend. Sometimes friendships are not perfectly equal. It’s OK if you consider her to be your best friend and meanwhile she considers someone else to be her best friend. That does not make her a bad friend to you.

    Weddings do not change people. If you were OK with your friendship before she got the ring on her finger, then I don’t see why you suddenly feel it’s a one sided friendship just because she didn’t reward you with a meaningless one day title and a matchy matchy dress. Still, it’s your choice whether or not this is a dealbreaker for a friendship.

    Either way, there is no polite way for you to ask her why she didn’t select you. So either get over it and attend as a guest, or end the friendship.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It's normal to feel disappointed or hurt but the reality is in the end, you're not owed a spot in someone's wedding.. even if they were in yours. They also don't owe you an explanation as to why you're not in it.

    Maybe you've grown apart, maybe she thinks you don't have time, maybe she thinks the financial burden could be too much, especially if you just got married and just paid for a wedding of your own.0

    Most relationships issues can be solved with simple communication. If you're questioning your friendship, talk to her about it. She can't fix a problem she doesn't realize exists and another reality is most friendships do not last forever. My friends have changed over the years and most of them I'm not close with anymore there was no fallout with them, we just grew apart.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    oh well. just because she was maid of honor in yours, doesn't mean you will be in hers. just how life is...

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    It's normal to be disappointed if being a bridesmaid is something you enjoy.

    But that doesn't mean she has done anything wrong, and it's wrong to feel that she has.

    The barometer by which you measure a relationship that has lasted for years is not whether or not you were asked to be in her bridal party. Friendship consists of so much more than that.

    If you truly feel that the friendship is one-sided on an ongoing basis, I don't know why you would expect to be asked to be a bridesmaid. Why be surprised when the gorilla eats the bananas?

    No one knows why she didn't ask you. Maybe she thought you couldn't afford it or you were too busy. Maybe she thought you were "wedding'ed out" after having your own. Maybe she thought you were a bridezilla and thought it best that you be a guest, not a participant. No one knows and it would be horribly rude to ask her. She does not owe you a spot in her bridal party, nor does she owe you any explanations. It's nothing to toss away a friendship over.

  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    It's not a dinner invitation where you "owe" your hosts a dinner. If the couple thanks your for serving as an attendant and you thank the couple for the honor, then everything is even steven and nobody owes anybody anything further. In your place I'd be happy to be spared the expense and bother.

    If you're wonderfully eager to somehow be involved in the wedding, give a Bridal Tea or Bridal Luncheon for the bride and 2 or more other guests. You can make a hen only event or include the groom and other gentlemen.

  • 1 month ago

    That would sting a bit, but she may have more friends and more options than you did. I guess she could have agreed to be in your wedding, but made it clear that you weren't that important to her ...but would that have been any better?

  • 1 month ago

    Is it normal?  Yes, it probably is pretty common.  Should you be? No, not necessarily.  You, like many other people, assume that there is a implied reciprocal agreement when there is not.  Just because you asked her doesn't mean that she needs to ask you in return.

    I do think you'd be wise to consider how things have being going both in general and specifically after you wedding with this friend.  Maybe you've grown apart. Maybe you demands of her as your MoH changed her desire to have you involved in her wedding.  Maybe you are just geographically unavailable.  Maybe she's never been considerate or kind.  Only you know. 

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