My wife cheated on me. When I found the evidence she blamed me for her adultery. Is it really my fault, or is there no excuse for cheating?

Update:

I've always been faithful, loving and kind to her. I know i'm not perfect, but I don't deserve what she did to me. I have forgiven her since, but when the topic arises she blames it on me. Take very small accountability for her actions. 

Update 2:

I just wanted to vent and get some advice. I haven't told anyone about this because I don't want her to look bad with my family her family and friends. I'm just trying to be the bigger man and to think rationally. 

36 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Not your fault at all. You had to "catch" her. Dont listen to the excuses because there arent any that justify cheating. Get out of there fast. Good luck

  • zipper
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    That is what cheaters do, they blame everyone else for their short comings, just like drug addicts do! Divorce and fine some one else younger!

  • 4 weeks ago

    NO EXCUSE OF COURSE.

  • 4 weeks ago

    I feel for you as cheating emotionally damaged your partner and people don’t even care about it. I prat God helps you heal those wounds and find the strength to move on from her. She does not deserve you at all.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    It is not your fault! You didn't cheat on yourwife.  She cheated on you. Your evidence had her dead to rights that she cheated on you. She made the choice to cheat and you caught her. Now she is trying to mess with your head. My adviceis to secure your evidence and get a divorce attorney.  There is no need to defend her to anyone, especially your family. She blames you for it because that is the only leg for her to stand on and it is a very weak one at that. You need to look out for yourself because she isn't going to look out for you. That is thinking rationally. I am sorry that happened to you, but her behaviour isn't going to change. You need to end your marriage. Good luck!

  • 4 weeks ago

    she did it because of the reason you need to ask about it.. your not the man she needs to get satisfied.... cold hard truth. I know, but its not your fault, its feminism..

  • 4 weeks ago

    It would seem to me that she wasn't getting anything out of having sex with you. Humans need to have sex, it keeps us on an even keel. It's good for us, both mentally and physically and apparently she wasn't getting what you were out of sex. What she should've done was tell you. Some people need sex more than others. What you need to do is ask her what made her decide to cheat, you should make it clear that you are trying to find out if you can do something that will remedy the situation. Was she not getting all the sex she needed or was it what you were not doing not satisfying her. If she doesn't want to talk about it I would say divorce is your only option because you can't fix anything until you know what you were doing wrong.

  • kristy
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    People always blame the other after they get caught.

  • David
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    You are where I was a couple of years ago.  My wife lied to me, telling me she was working late.  Her son innocently remarked (without my asking) that mom was going out with friends.  As she wasn't answering her cell phone, I took a walk.  I eventually found her walking with two tall, young and very handsome men.  One of them was grabbing her (butt) and she was really enjoying that.  I kept walking until I caught up with them.   When she finally noticed me, she turned bright white.  I turned around and went home.  Later, she came home MAD AT ME, accusing me of "stalking" her.

    Dude, your marriage is DEAD.  If she's at the point where she's willing to do literally anything to continue to try to excuse her bad behavior...

    Then she's not going to change, ever.  You can file for divorce now, or file for divorce, later.  The sooner you file, the sooner your problem is solved.  How long do you want to suffer?  

    • David
      Lv 6
      4 weeks agoReport

      Kevin7, know that you are not alone. Unfortunately, it happens probably millions of times a day, every day. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

  • 1 month ago

    It really doesn't matter if it is your fault or hers

    I think it is over btwn you , you should both have the courage to admit it

    Separation is the best remedy

    • stranger
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      Ok let s say it was his fault , should he go on with rhis relationship with a cheating wife

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