Am I unreasonable to ask my boyfriend to visit me at the airport? ?
My bf of 6 years and I are doing long distance. He transferred in his job to another city and I am transferring too in a month. I have traveled a few times to see him.
This weekend I traveled to see my family. I noticed there was a layover in his city for 1.75 hours so I asked him if he was able to stop by the airport after work to see me. It is a 15 min drive from his house. He repeated "are you serious" and said "how would I figure out parking and where would I eat?" I answered and he said "this is impractical. 90% of people who have a 1.5 hour layover would not do this and you are in the 10% who live life on the edge and do this. Why can't you be like the 90%?" He said he doesn't want to rush around or pay a $20 parking ticket (despite earning $60k/year).
I felt upset at the airport because I would put in the effort to drive 15 mins to see him for 1.75 hours given we don't see each other often but he won't. Am I unreasonable for this?
We then argued on the phone about it while I was at the airport and he got angry that I "would even ask something so unreasonable." After I hung up after 1 hour he called back 8 times in a row and said "wow 8 calls and you don't pick up. How disappointing." But I had to get ready to catch my flight! And he said we need to talk some time about my behaviour but I wanted to discuss his.
He a temper and is critical while I am sensitive. He can argue for hours. It's too overwhelming but if I try to walk away he will follow me. Please help
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
The deeper issue here isn't your boyfriend's coming to the airport, it's his attitude in general. I don't like your last comment about how if "you try to walk away, he'll follow you". THAT is a WARNING SIGN of a potential domestic ABUSER, and you need to end this relationship ASAP because of it.
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
Depends on the airport in question. I live in L.A. where getting to my local airport would be a two hour drive from anywhere in the city and parking would run about $40 and require then taking a shuttle to the terminals. It's not something you'd do just to see someone who's moving to your town anyway in just a month. Seems to me you may have overreacted on this one. It actually sounds like maybe you overreact to a lot of things and that this "talk" he wants to have will involve breaking up. So I'd keep myself nimble in terms of this upcoming move because if you're only doing it for him you're probably going to want to reconsider.
- OcimomLv 71 month ago
End this relationship. First of all, LDR's rarely last long and it two 2 special people willing to make it work and trust. If he makes excuses to not see you when you are at the airport on a layover, he really is not serious about your relationship.
- antoniusLv 71 month ago
Take my advise or leave it, but you have a problem and you need to remove yourself from that moron. He does not really care about you, stop being a fool.
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- Ace ShortyLv 71 month ago
Some boyfriend, just tell him you don't care about talking to him ever again and don't let him sweet talk you.
- charlatanLv 71 month ago
he is practical./pragmatic.
you can sulk and taunt him for rest of his life.
you can also sulk rest of your life.
the fact is - i have taken home made food on a couple occasions
in such cases. but then it was need based requirement.
- chris nLv 71 month ago
Oh honey. How GLAD you should be about this horrible little incident. You could have been stuck with this guy for a long, long time before discovering what he's like deep down. What a waste of your life that would have been. YOU put a lot more into this relationship than he does. He couldn't spare you 1.75 hrs despite 6 years with him. You aren't married to him thank goodness. You showed quite reasonable disappointment at his non-action and he's now trying to turn the tables and put YOU in the wrong for not answering his calls. NOW is the time to let him go. He overwhelms you with his argument-ability. He can beat you hands down in an argument and talking with him gives him the upper hand doesn't it and leaves you frustrated once again. I bet this has happened all your relationship. It's long distance at the moment which is good because it will make it much easier for you to dump him. Just cease contact altogether. Write to him to say that he has finally proved to you that he's not Mr Right as far as you are concerned and say you are going your own way in life from now on. Wish him luck for the future and goodbye and point out that you won't be answering any messages he may send you. Then stick to this promise. He isn't going to believe that his tame little worm has finally turned. He will be angry (bullies don't like victims who talk back) and will try and bully and bluster to you on text etc. Hang up if he calls you. It may even turn to false contrition just to get you to listen to him - but be firm. For once in this relationship YOU will have the upper hand. He will end up with respect for you which he certainly doesn't have at the moment. But don't return to him. You need a far better man and there are loads out there. You've been tied to a bully for 6 years. Be so glad that you can now escape him and have a happier future than you'll ever have if you remain shackled to him. He's all take while you are all give. You need an equal partnership and this guy cannot understand that conception. Good luck
- PatriciaLv 71 month ago
Someone can't visit you inside the airport if you're a passenger, unless you leave the passenger's area. You'd have to leave that area and go through the security area all over again. Not sure how you can do all that in 1.75 hours, considering there is always a line of people checking in and having their carry on's and personal items checked before entering the passenger area. Sometimes it takes an hour to get through security.
- Blue Sky 🐾Lv 71 month ago
No you are not, and he's being a putz. He should be happy to meet you, even if its just for a short time.
- MikeyLv 71 month ago
Might want to find out why you're afraid to date local men.