Am I overreacting? Boyfriend works nights and sleeps when we see each other?

My boyfriend works nights 6pm to 6am 5 days a week. We see each other friday and saturday afternoons, but everytime he falls asleep even tho he promised to take me somewhere. I hang out to see him not his parents ik his parents really like me but i feel odd just being there while hes asleep upstairs. Ive mentioned to him i want to do things while we see each other as our time is limited but each time he gets upset as he thinks i dont understand. I do realize he works odd hours, has bad knees and shoulders and doesnt have his own car he uses his step fathers, but i feel unhappy and alone. I feel like im single and dont have a boyfriend actually. I dont know what to do... its getting to the point where im just gonna tell him text me to hang out when you want to do something with me not take me to your house and sleep...

4 Answers

  • Teal
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Unless he has plans to switch to a daytime shift in the near future, I think you should just cut to the chase and break up. Dating someone with an opposite schedule is like dating long distance. He needs to plan ahead if he wants to take you out, and spending more quality time together means spending less time together. I say break up though because he isn't making the effort to do this. He should want to take you out on dates and he should voluntarily make plans that fit his schedule. Most importantly he should follow through on those plans. The fact that he won't try and routinely cancels on you means this relationship isn't worth salvaging.

  • 1 month ago

    Then do exactly what you say you want to do! It's weird that you go over to his house and hang with his parents while he's sleeping. Stop doing that. It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you. This isn't something he's doing to you... you are doing this to yourself! When he falls asleep.. LEAVE. If he's not fulfilling the role you want a boyfriend to fulfill, break up and find a different one. Arrange your own transportation so you aren't "stuck" at his house when you know he's going to go to sleep.

    Seriously, much of what you are complaining about it what YOU are doing. So change it!

    • history
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Yes. Then you don't go over to his folks' place when he's tired or you ask them for a ride home when he falls asleep. I vote you don't hang out at his parent's house. Whether he's awake or not. That way, when he's tired, he can just go home! There's logic to that.

  • 1 month ago

    He's tired...he barely has any leisure time. When he promises to take you somewhere, he intends on doing it, no doubt about it. However, sleep calls and he cannot fulfill that promise. Be patient with him. Don't throw in the towel as someone else suggested...things could be worse. This can be fixed. Just have a conversation.

    • lisa1 month agoReport

      And what really brought me to post this question on here was I'm out of town at the moment and I see him posting on social media of being at a movie with his brother, and a football game/party with friends but yet he tells me "hes too tired" to even see a movie w me

  • Brian
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Try your idea and see what sort of an effect that has. If it doesn't get you what you seek then perhaps you may have no choice but to move on sorry to say.

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