Have you ever skipped a family wedding because you just didn't feel like going?

My cousin invited me to her wedding. We're Asian-American, so in general, family is important to us. However, that particular cousin and I are not close and we don't always get along when we do see each other.

On top of that, when I was asked to commit to the invite, I was under a lot of physical and mental stress in my life between being extremely busy at work and having issues with my own relationship. I wanted time alone in peace rather than at a loud event with lots of people.

It also didn't help that I personally don't enjoy wedding receptions anyway, even though I do wish the couples well.

For these reasons, I declined the invite. My relatives who did attend were asking about me, so I feel guilty for not seeing them, but at the same time, I honestly just didn't feel up to it.

Does anyone else understand where I'm coming from?

15 Answers

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  • B
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    you shouldn't feel at all that you needed to attend because someone else thought you should attend, that is the lamest and most forgettable notion ever. these people are just nosy and will forget all about this a year from now. move on and don't let it bother you at all.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    yeahhh asians usually get pretty upset about that stuff. since this event is already over, it seems, then what does it matter anymore? you made the decision already. yes, I've skipped out on MANY events because I simply cannot take loud situations and need to recharge at home, alone, in the quiet or else it's just very bad for my mental health.

    • sirrvs1 month agoReport

      Thanks. I'm more just curious of others out there have ever done the same thing.

  • 1 month ago

    I can understand not wanting to attend my father's s8de of the family functions even though some of those relatives are actually ok most of them should go to ****. 5hey may not ever let you live it down but you also don't keep in touch with them that much so you don't have to worry about it.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I do, but then I'm not an elderly Asian-American person and I suspect whatever your reason you're going to get some grief from the seniors in your family.

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  • 1 month ago

    You are never obliged to attend a wedding, irrelevant of who the couple are, or your relationship to them. You don't need to have or give an excuse; you just decline the invite.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Yes and I didn't give them a reason why I wasn't attending... just rsvp'ed no/unable to attend.

    My husband is everyone's BFF. He's lived all over from going to school and training for his profession so he has friends all over. We make some weddings, but not all of them. We live in Michigan, he's from Texas... for his family we make most weddings, but not all of them depending on his work and also the same with mine. We were invited to a family wedding of mine that was right in the middle of our vacation, we sent our rsvp back with a no but also sent a gift.

  • 1 month ago

    Why does it matter whether they understand your reasoning or not? They don’t have to, and you don’t need their approval. An invitation is not a subpoena and you’re not obligated to accept it, not are you obligated to explain your reasons to anyone.

    Just stop bringing it up with them. If you bring it up then it’s your own fault.

    If THEY are weird enough to keep bringing it up then just say “I’m not able to attend. Please drop it” then change the subject or walk away.

    • sirrvs1 month agoReport

      Thanks for your answer. My family members only brought it up at the wedding. I'm more just curious if people out there like you ever felt the same way about attending a family wedding.

  • 1 month ago

    I've turned down every family wedding that was going to cost me a lot of money in transportation, housing, food, and days off work. Turned down everyone of them! If I can get to the wedding and back in a day? I'm there!

  • Brian
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    If you are busy, all you have to is say so.

    • sirrvs1 month agoReport

      Thanks. Yeah, I made sure to let her know early on so they could plan.

  • cat
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I'm sorry but I have to say, I think you were selfish for declining the invite.

    Your cousin will (hopefully) only get married once. His wedding will forever be one of the most important days of his life. The fact that you couldn't be bothered to spend a few hours at his ceremony and reception because you were feeling stressed at the time you had to RSVP makes you sound incredibly selfish.

    Don't get mad when your own friends or family decide not to attend your own wedding one day because they just don't feel like it either.

    • cat
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Kelly, obviously you still got married to the guy. LMAO. And yes, obviously life goes on if someone can't attend your wedding. The point is that this guy is choosing not to attend because he's lazy and couldn't sacrifice the peace and quiet he wanted for one night to watch his cousin get married.

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